Review: The "Final" Wave of Star Wars Vintage Action Figures, Part 1: Return of the Jedi.

The fabled/frustrating Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar may have wrapped up, but there's still plenty of new thrilling/sometimes confusing Star Wars content to be had, especially if you're a jaded old skool afficienado desperately seeking a kick to the old nostalgia balls.

A year or two ago Hasbro put their 3 3/4 inch figures back on classic silver and black cards but, sadly, all good things come to an end and the last wave of 2012 is actually the last wave (at least for now) of the "vintage" styled line. And to pile even more salt into your teary wound, this last wave is available from online retailers only - no doubt because most brick and mortar stores are still drowning under stacks of unsold Phantom Menace figures from the 3D re-release.

But let's sweep all that negativity under the wampa rug. The good news is that this is a super solid wave of twelve new action figures, including some awesome re-dos of classic trilogy characters. If this image doesn't get those aforementioned nostalgia balls throbbing then I would recommend checking your connection between your brain and your nostalgia balls...

Man, that card art takes me right back to 1983! POW! If you feel anything at all looking at that image then you better join me after the jump! Hurry before Disney adds mouse ears and fairy wings!

Review: Ewok Overload! Hasbro's Exclusive Ewok Figure Packs!

Let me tell you something about ewoks. Something you won't learn in your fancy schools. Ewoks are awesome. I don't want to hear a word about "teddy bears" or "merchandise" or "cutesy cash-cows". Ewoks are badass little murder-bears who practice witchcraft and frigging eat people. They were going to eat Han Solo and absorb his powers of smuggling, smirking and macking on ladies. If you're too cynical to appreciate an ewok then I am done with you.

Hasbro's 3 3/4 inch action figure line only manages to pump out an ewok once or twice a year but, for some inexplicable reason, 2012 has become the ewok mother lode! This year we get no less than seven unique new arboreal bear-buggers for our shelves, thanks to two new multipacks. The only catch? They are both hard-to-find US exclusives, one from Toys R Us and the other from K-Mart.

But lookee here, I managed to find them both!

And if you want to know what I thought of these fuzzy fuggers... join me after the jump!

Local Toy Fair Haul!: Ewoks! Alf! Rock Lord!??

Every three months, a local community centre here in Western Australia hosts a mini "toy fair", transforming their gym into an Aladdin's cave of both brand new and secondhand toys, collectibles, and crap! It's become customary for me to post my quarterly haul on my own site, but this time it's particularly apt to post it here as I've dug up some rare treasures that the Fruitless Pursuits staff and I have been enthusiastically discussing over the past few weeks.

For example, any guesses as to what this is?...

OH. MY. GOD. See this plasticky blob take on its true form, and plenty more (ALF fans rejoice!) after the jump!

Star Wars Blu-rays: Why Giving Ewoks CGI Eyes is Akin to a Boob Job.

So as Star Wars Blu-ray footage begins to work its way online through a range of official and non-official sources, the entire Internet seems to be imploding with nerd-range at evidence of further changes to the film. The biggest uproar was triggered by the revelation that the once stoic Darth Vader will now be yelling, "NOOO! NOOOO!" as he hurls the Emperor to his doom, and this has been followed by altered Krayt dragon calls, bigger doors, more rocks, and a Sebulba in Jabba's palace. It's all pretty superficial stuff, but it has definitely rubbed "fans" (I use the word hesitantly because they appear to loathe Star Wars) the wrong way. In an unsexy way.

As you may know, I'm a lifetime fan myself and up until now I've refrained from posting about all of this. I'm kind of numb to it. I'm super excited about the Blu-ray experience and I'm not going to let anything spoil it for me. The good is always going to vastly outweigh the bad for me. Empire Strikes Back in high-def? I can't wait! Just think of how detailed Dengar's loafers are going to be! Seriously, you'll feel like you're wearing them.

However, one alleged change has finally wrenched a comment out of me. One of my favourite childhood characters, plucky ewok Wicket W. Warrick has had his cherubic, fuzzy face tampered with. I love you, George, BUT YOU DON'T MESS WITH AN EWOK'S FACE. And don't put your fingers close to their mouths because they eat people. What am I talking about? Check out this screenshot from the forums at Millenium Falcon (Forums full of funny people. Angry funny people).

Join me after the jump and we'll watch the footage and I'll tell you why Wicket's blinking CGI eyes are like a breast augmentation.