Saturday, September 24, 2011

Project Runway Recaps: S09 E09

Do you have time to watch Project Runway every week? Of course you don't! Also, my recaps are better than the show. Let's talk FASHION!

Robocop Reboot Director Casually Mentions Michael Fassbender and Internet Runs With It.

ZOMG YOU GUYS! Michael "Magneto" Fassbender is playing Robocop in the reboot!? Well... not exactly...

What really happened is director Jose Padhila kind of casually mentioned in an interview that he would like to talk to Michael Fassbender about Robocop (who wouldn't), and that it was really too early to tell us anything, and that a lot of other people would make a great Robocop too. But ZOMG FASSBENDER ROBOCOP YOU GUYS!

Regardless of the vagueness of the story, the Internet is running with the headlines anyway. But so far, appears to have been too lazy to Photoshop Fassbender into the Robocop costume. So allow me to do my civic duty and knock one up for you.

"Freeze creep! I am a robot who cannot love. But can grow a beard."
No need to thank me, Internets! Just part of the service!

A Game of Thrones Genesis PC Game Trailer!

Wait! Whoa! There's going to be a A Game of Thrones PC game?! And it's called A Game of Thrones Genesis?! And it's actually a prequel and tells of the events that led up to A Game of Thrones? Does that mean we'll get to play as young author George R.R. Martin, writing fan letters to Marvel comics, growing an illustrious beard and eating lemon cakes? (Both those links are GOLD, by the way!).

No? Well, is it a first-person-sitter where we get to play as the throne?

Apparently, not. But it looks like this:

There's not a huge amount of information we can easily discern from this first trailer, but we can assume game-play will consist of:

- Throne sitting.
- Map fondling.
- Helicopter flyovers.

I can't wait to find out more!

Clone Wars Recap S4 E03: Prisoners

Despite a high level of anticipation about the debut of season four, episodes 1 & 2 of The Clone Wars quickly SPRUNG A LEAK. Even though we saw a battle at the bottom of the ocean, the stories lacked DEPTH. Let's SEA if it's  any better this time. Or WATER catastrophe it will be! At least the writing has to be better than this intro...

Episode three finishes up the Soggy Lobster Battle trilogy, so join me after the jump to find out what Admiral Ackbar can secretly do with his stick... (SPOILERS!)

Friday, September 23, 2011

Best Advice To Avoid Getting Hit By A Satellite Tonight

This won't be an issue for most of our contributors, but a few of us have a chance of not surviving the night due to a satellite that's rapidly falling towards us.

Here is my advice to avoid S.S.D.S. (Sudden Satellite Death Syndrome).

EA Sports NHL 12

I don't know about those of you in other parts of the world, but here in Canada there's no escaping our National Pastime.  Whether it be my beloved Maple Leafs or the Vancouver Canucks, the Montreal Canadiens or the newly returned Winnipeg Jets, there's nothing like Hockey Night in Canada. 

Then, if you happen to be a geek like me, there's also that special time of year right before hockey season when EA Sports releases a new version of NHL Hockey.  In this case, NHL 12.

So I picked up NHL 12 by EA Sports yesterday.  I know, a little late to the party all ready.  I was finishing a Stanley Cup run on my old NHL 10 game before I picked up the new one.  How does it hold up on first impressions?  Find out after the jump!

Friday Night Movie Review 6!

When the plucky, hard-working, yet delicate, Fruitless Pursuits team come up with a regular feature then you had better believe they'll stick with it! Regardless of how popular it is!

That's why week after week we continue to band together to give you an assorted grab-bag of bite-sized movie reviews that most of you don't bother reading! Well! Maybe this one could be your first!:

Doesn't that look appetizing! Come on! Don't be shy, baby! Join us after the jump and take a bite...

D&D Day by Day - Blink Dog

Ah yes, the blink dog, humanities last hope against the... you know what, I've been playing D&D for a long time, and I don't think I ever came up against a blink dog. You hear about them, but you'd typically never fight them, because why would you fight a dog? Dogs are friendly and helpful and really just want you to throw the Orcs arm so he can bring it back for you. The warriors best friend.

I don't know, I'm making stuff up (again). Follow the jump to learn more about them and see what our contributors thought they should look like based on name alone.

This is not a Blink Dog. Just a dog (maybe) that is blinking, and bringing you coffee

DC Reboot: Week 3 (More or Less)

So. Another week, another string of new #1 issues from DC trying to get us to stretch our entertainment dollar as far as we possibly can. Aren't we lucky? With only one more week of new issues in the first round, I have to admit, so far I'm pretty ambivalent. Yes, some of the new books have been REALLY good...but some have been REALLY not; this is definitely a trend that continued this week. I don't have Luke's skill with the photo editor (art and I don't get along) sadly, all you get here is a DC logo instead of a cool sliced up picture. I'm sure you'll survive, right?

So, this week, I got #1's for: Birds of Prey, DC Universe Presents, Blue Beetle, Wonder Woman, Nightwing, and Batman. I'll admit right off the bat (get it?) that I looked at Catwoman, Supergirl, and Red Hood...but I was turned off on them quickly enough that they didn't even make it home. Thank goodness Luke took that bullet over in his review over here. Take that for what it is.

My thoughts after the jump. Please remember that SPOILERS are in effect, and these are just MY thoughts, you're allowed to disagree.

Thank Gif It's Friday

Via Cat Gif Page.

Recap: America's Next Top Model Season 17, Episode 2

You guys, I have been sick as a dog for the last week. But today I dragged myself off the couch to tell you about America's Next Top Model: All Stars. I could have told you to go watch the damn thing yourself, but that would have been cruel. Because it was FUCKING AWFUL. Save yourself and read my recap!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

R.E.M.'s Best Bits featuring Chris Elliot, Tony Clifton, The Muppets, and Homer Simpson

It's always a bummer when a band calls it quits, but it's not always a bad thing. Some bands can end up going on for years, watering down everything that they built up, finishing out their careers playing the stage at one of the lesser known Disney parks (Christopher Cross), the state fair (Def Leppard), or even the 4th of July fireworks two blocks from my house (Peter Frampton / America).

In R.E.M.'s case, it's good to see them end on a good note, leaving behind a huge catalog of amazing songs. Looking back, they had more hits (or just songs that everyone knows and loves) than I realized.

All of that aside.. here are a few of their best pop culture bits.

Vintage Electric Mayhem Concert Posters by Michael DiPippo

The Electric Mayhem is the coolest band to grace the stage, and hopefully, one day these posters can grace your walls.

They're the second best piece of Electric Mayhem wall art I've ever seen. The #1 spot goes to my framed mirror/painting of the band. Too bad it's impossible to photograph and doesn't exist on the internet.

Click through the jump for the rest of the band. You can see these and more of Michael's art at I would highly suggest his Michael Jackson Cereal Box illustrations.

DC Reboot Review: Batman #1, Nightwing #1, Red Hood and the Outlaws #1, Catwoman #1, Green Lantern Corps #1, Supergirl #1, Wonder Woman #1.,

So let's talk about DC Comics and the law of diminishing returns...

It's a new week and a new round of #1's for September's DC reboot. I bought 7 of the 12 new books on offer today, and wow is my interest waning! No, it's not all bad, but I'm seriously beginning to wonder exactly what DC is trying to accomplish here. So much so that it's starting to erode the goodwill created by some of the better releases from earlier in the month. We were lead into the pretence that this books would be solid jump on points for new readers, but sadly it's rarely the case.

The majority of these comics are a disjointed jumble of disparate elements.There's little effort to tell coherent stories. The characters are either bland, dickishly arrogant and "noble", or just plain sleazy-looking dicks. And most of the lines cling to graphic violence as a crutch - as thought the comics are only for "adults" - but now are peppering it with an awkward softcore sexuality ("Look boys! Bras!") as if the comics are for boys who have just turned thirteen.

But then I read reviews where people are going, "Oh yeah, Nightwing, man! That's a keeper! Great book!" By what metric is this great? Great compared to what? Other comics? TV? Movies? A punch in the forehead?


Join me after the jump and we'll try to unravel this expanding mess. I'm going into full SPOILER mode though or I'm not going to cope...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

WedNESday, Greek Style

A few years ago the internets were a buzz with a game called God of War. In it you played a god who was in charge of war. It was set in ancient Greece and featured an assortment of the old gods, I assume you were one of them, the god of war one of them. Apparently it was filled with blood and guts and boobs and totally extreme awesome things all the time.

 Then, a second game was released, called 2 Gods of War, which was even bloodier and gutsier and boobier and everyone loved it moreier.

Then! THEN! The developers gifted us with another game in the series, 3 Gods and a War Baby. It was the bloodiest, gutsiest and boobiest in the series. To thank the developers for this glorious entertainment harvest, we sacrificed millions of our collective dollars.

 Now this is all good and Greek, but I remember a much finer digital interpretation of the classic Greek gods. Come with me now on a journey as we explore the original God of War!

Pixel Lincoln: Assembling the Team

Originally posted at For more developer blogs on Pixel Lincoln and other games in-progress, visit

When it was originally decided that we were going to make Pixel Lincoln into a video game, myself, George Tagmire, and the Ryans from Island Officials started to assemble a development team. We needed a medium sized group made up of artists, designers and programmers.. and it all started to come together quickly.

8-Bit Banter: King's Quest 3!

OK friends and foes, lets turn back the clock for this one... King's Quest III: To Heir is Human. Released in 1986 for MS-DOS, this story driven text adventure left a huge impression on the industry as well as my own life. Some of my earliest gaming memories are of my brothers struggling to beat the evil minotuar. For some reason this is forever embedded in my memory, much unlike the maze path to that damn minotuar!

Yes, It's a God-Damn RePeat...

Bit it is a serviceable explanation of the reason why I came on here, shat out three posts and then disappeared for nearly a month.

I will be back, but I had these testicle-sized shaped tonsils in my mouth (I swear they REALLY were tonsils!!!), and I had them removed, and's taking FOREVER for me to get back on track. I blogged about it on my own site. But I am re-posting it here, in case anyone gives a shit.

Here you go...

Calrissian said it best.

'Yes he's alive...and in perfect hibernation.'

Barely. If you managed to sneak a photo of me of late, I might actually be on my back, hands up, palms forward, with a grimace on my face, awaiting transport to Jabba the Hutt. I feel frozen.

Lots of reasons why.

One Man Multi-Track Dub of Back to the Future Skateboard Chase!

It's late here, BUT, Back to the Future is one of my favourite series of movies, the skateboard chase in Back to the Future is one of my favourite scenes, and the Back to the Future theme is one of my favourites of all time! So to hear the talented Matt Mulholland re-dub an entire scene - music, sound effects, dialogue and all - using only his own voice, makes me happier than I've ever been! IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! Don't miss this:

Under the Man-croscope: the Dubious Merit of Trading Cards.

Imagine the mighty Man-croscope! A highly technical device whose stern gaze turns upon all that you loved and accepted as a child, and heavily scrutinizes it with the steely, unwavering, eyes of a man! Everything you thought you knew will crumble to bitter, nostalgic dust - powerless under the Man-croscope's adult glare!

This week I recklessly turn the Man-croscope on trading cards! You know, those small rectangular pieces of cardboard, randomly packed with a stick of rubbery gum, that you would obsessively and bewilderingly collect as a kid. You couldn't get enough of them! You had to have the whole set! You wasted all your pocket money! You crazy shit!

I collected a ton of trading cards as a kid and a young teen. So while we deconstruct this odd phenomenon, let's take a look at some of the few remaining cards I have left, from my own personal "collection". Like this highly-prized collector's item that I photographed earlier:

I think this card is insinuating that he crapped himself.
I'm not even joking with you. These are all photos of my cards, that I own right now. Check out more of my startling collection after the jump and we'll nitpick things until they're no fun any more!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

WedNESday: Miyamoto's Angels At TeeFury and Top 3 Video Game T-Shirts

It seems that TeeFury is onto our very special WedNESday celebration of gaming as well.

Today's T-shirt is Miyamoto's Angels by Visual Singularities. Available for $10 at for the next 24 hours.

We featured TeeFury just recently with their grab bag of random t-shirts (I know that fellow contributor Taylor bought a few), and in that post we showed off one of the recent video game shirts (a mashup of Kill Bill and Super Mario characters)... but they've sold a bunch of awesome video game related shirts over the years.

What's Out? Week of 21st of September.

Get out those dollars!
Here's where I look at the Diamond shipping list and see what's coming out this week.

Live Action Angry Birds?

So...This exists

Review: Gears of War 3! First Impressions: Boombox Breasts and Daddy Issues!

Today saw one of the biggest, stockiest, heavily-armoured, stereo-speaker-titted, videogame releases of 2011! I am, of course, talking about the testosterone-soaked juggernaut Gears of War 3, a game that 95% of the Internet has already reviewed, because real news sites get early access, and I bought it this afternoon, and am only up to Act 2. However! If we wait until I finish the campaign and master multiplayer before I comment on it, then it will already be in post-Christmas bargain bins for $9.95. So let's climb in and have a poke around at what I've found so far...

"MMmmm! A freshly fired Lancer is so warm against my crotch!"
Join me after the jump for my initial impressions! (There'll probably be minor spoilers, but nothing too specific. So be a man! What would Marcus Fenix do? Probably blast some hip-hop out of his tits!).

Gears of War - The Board Game (Unboxing)

So, chances are that if you are aware of Gears of War the board game, this is nothing new. If you are only familiar with the Gears of War video games and not this, then HOLY SNOW THERES A GEARS BOARDS GAME!!!! If you're unfamiliar with Gears but you love video games, then seriously, you need to turn in your console. "but I don't like shooters" Come on, this doesn't mean you can't be aware of one of the most popular game series of the last 10 years. 

If you are still reading, and still don't know about Gears of War, its a video game series that follows Marcus Fenix and Delta Squad who fight off the Locust Horde through a post-apocalypse world in order to save humanity. The board game takes this theme and presents it in table top format as a cooperative game for 1-4 players from Fantasy Flight Games.  

The following is the games unboxing that I took last night and today. So strap on your boom-box armor and join in after the break to see all of the components to this fantastic looking game.

New They Might Be Giants Music Video: Cloissone!

Just a quickie! It wasn't too long ago that I showed you the video for They Might Be Giant's Spoiler Alert of their newest album Join Us! In that post I whined that my favourite song of the album was actually Cloissone, because its clever, hard to spell, and I don't know what it means! Well, it seems like somebody must have heard my petulant plea because TMBG have just released an official video for my favourite track! It's probably a sign that I can afford to be even more creative with my wishes. I wish for a flying pony that urinates beer and has Scarlett Johansson's breasts!

It's a pretty simple clip, but I really dig seeing the band actually play this thing. It has a lot of wacky instruments and Flansburgh is particularly awesome (watch out for the talking raindrop!). Here it is!:

The Amazing Anatomical Pop Culture Sculpture of Jason Freeny!

Here's what we know about Jason Freeny: He's an artist. He's awesome. And we should visit his site, worship, and purchase from him. He's also literally pulling apart some of our favourite pop culture icons to see what makes them tick.

The Staypuft Marshmallow Man is full of delicious marshmallows, right? No. He actually has a skeleton and internal organs. Which makes it all the more tragic when he dies in a fire:

Join me after the jump to see a few more of my favourites, and learn a little bit more about the man!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Saturday Night Board Games: Dungeon Freakout, Alien Dice Drop, Fool's Gold, Cathedral, and Mag Blast

This past Saturday night, I brought the entire gaming crew over to local designer Alex Strang's house to play a few old favorites and playtest some of our works in progress.

We had 6 players, which is really rare for us. We mixed it up and took turns on some of the lighter/smaller games, and had two big epic 6 player games. Read on for a full recap of the night.

CONTEST - Win This Dunny!

Thats right kids, Fruitless Pursuits is holding its first contest! This contest will require a bit of the ole' creative juices from you, so get ready to be creative. How's that you say? Read on after the jump to find out!

Read more »

Metal Mondays: 10 SEXXY Spinal Tap Songs (Plus Album Cover Gallery)

Spinal Tap has a huge history. Their fictional catalog consists of 16 albums, dozens of songs.. even multiple genres. There's a surprising amount of information out there for albums that I thought only existed as an image in the film This Is Spinal Tap.

Some of their songs were super-metal (Death For Breakfast, Death On A Stick) but they're probably most known for their sex songs.

Some were obviously about sex. Others were even more obvious.

Click through the jump for 10 Sexy Spinal Tap Song Titles and a gallery of their fake album covers.

INTERVIEW: Marc Tyler Nobleman, author of Super ‘70s and ‘80s: Original Interviews with 100 lost stars of Superhero Pop Culture!

Marc Tyler Nobleman has accomplished the impossible! An author and huge fan of classic superhero pop-culture, Marc has tracked down 100 "forgotten stars" - Super Friends voice actors, writers and producers, theme park performers, singers, and Superman the Movie actors - and interviewed each and every one of them for a series on his site Noblemania. It's a massive undertaking and it makes for a fascinating read, unlike anything I've ever encountered before.

I became aware of Marc's work via Kris of the Extra Sequential Podcast. He thought it might be right up my alley considering I co-host a podcast that celebrates the minor characters of cinema history. And Kris was right, but anything I've done has dwarfed the work and passion that Marc has poured into his site. And it's extremely thorough. He even spoke to these guys, and believe me, I've always wanted to know what was going on here!:

So, naturally I was thrilled when Marc was gracious enough to let me turn the tables and interview him! Join us after the jump to find out all about the process, the discoveries, and the current state of superhero entertainment!

Metal Mondays - Taking a turn for the piratey

It is INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE day, and as such I've gone looking for something appropriately swashbuckling to lace in with todays metal theme. And I sucked, because Luke found todays focus. Meet Alestorm.

Clips and hilarity after the break:

Ahoy, Mateys! It Be The Best Holiday of the Year!

Aye, once again it be September the 19th; known to landlubbers everywhere as "Talk Like A Pirate Day"! The crew here at Fruitless Pursuits be a black-hearted, scurvy-ridden, piratical bunch if ever there were one, so of course we be big fans of it around these parts.

Talk Like A Pirate Day were started in the mid-90's by legendary pirates 'Ol Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy, who be still running the official site to this very day! Over the years, it has continued to grow in popularity and scope, with rum-soaked, pirate-themed parties breaking out the world over!

So kick back, and pass the grog, and we'll all be drunker than a bottle of rum before lunch in honor of the day! I not really be one for posting lots o' pictures of things "just because"...but I will leave ye with the single best piratey thing EVER, after the jump. (because it's mildly NSFW)

Metal Mondays: Heavy Metal Magazine.

Who is the biggest rock-star in comics history? Jim Lee? Are you kidding me? Stan Lee? Influential, yes, but there's nothing rock about him! Rob Liefeld? Hell no! I've included his name purely for laffos! Jack Kirby? Look, Jack Kirby is awesome but he's not ROCK. (He's the King of Comics). Folks, the biggest rockstar in comics is absolutely, 100% Kevin Eastman.

Back in 1984 he co-created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (with buddy Peter Laird), was able to turn a self-published, black and white, funny animal book into a squazillion dollar empire, he married and divorced a Penthouse Pet of the Year, became totally badass (see picture) (he also has crazy tattoos along his forearms which grant him demon flight), and he became the publisher and editor of the world's most bitchin' dark fantasy/science-fiction/erotica magazine: Heavy Metal.

Worship with me at his altar, after the jump! (NSFW for barely-clothed, booby fantasy art).

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Weekly Re-Crap - Week ending September 18th

You may think that we just talked about Star Wars last week.. but looking at the list below, you may be right. But underneath there was much, much more... a real big week for us with our first interview and our contributors in full force. 

Check out the full week once more after the break.

Fruitless Pursuitscast Episode One: Our Very First Group Podcast

Yesterday 4 of us got together to try out something new… we made a podcast! It's not a new concept to Luke or Mike, or even to our website, but it's the first time we gathered as a group to discuss the recent events that we've covered at Fruitless Pursuits.

A few of our contributors (Luke, Mike, Suzanne, J.) defied our time zone and hemispherical constraints, and got together to discuss some of the biggest (and nerdiest) topics of the last week or two, in more detail than we've been able to on the site. It was the first time we've tried anything like this, so it's very much a work in progress. It's also something we would like to continue as a regular feature, with the hosts varying from our group of contributors each time.

In this episode, we discuss:
-The big Star Wars week
-Scarlett Johansson's hacked photos
-DC Reboot
-D&D Day by Day
-Upcoming Video Games

Can our first episode live up to the first episode high standards set by The Phantom Menace, The Paul Reiser Show, Heil Honey I'm Home, or Australia's Naughtiest Home Videos?

You will have to listen to see.

Click on the link below to stream or right-click to download Fruitless Pursuitscast Episode One.

Fruitless Pursuitscast - Episode One


(Taylor Edit - Working on getting this on iTunes for ease of subscription. Until then you can add it manually by visiting

The Most Awesome Video You'll See Today!: Music Video Made Entirely of Gifs!

Sundays can be a struggle to find anything interesting, but this music video for Hey Mister by Magic Machines is clearly the most awesome video I've seen today, and I am about 82% positive that it will be the same for you. The entire clip is made up only of popular gifs, so you're sure to seem some old favourites in a new light! Trust me!