Monday, December 31, 2012

Luke's Top Ten Favourite Films of 2012!

This is the big one! My Ten Favourite Films of 2012 which are sure to piss you off just a little bit. But let me make an obligatory proviso. These are my personal favourites not necessarily the best films ever made (although a couple might be). But let me tell YOU what pisses ME off...

We are a pop culture site. We talk about all sorts of silly, fun, over-the-top genre movies. What I hate is that there are so many sites out there that spend all frigging year giving you every tiny bit of news about these big, silly, blockbuster movies BUT THEN when it's time to their end of year lists, they populate them mostly with Oscar favourites, and obscure foreign films. EVEN THOUGH THE DUMB BLOCKBUSTERS HAVE BEEN GENERATING THEIR TRAFFIC ALL YEAR!

Look, either this stuff is worth talking about it or not. I like escapism. I go to the movies to have a good time. The films that stuck with me throughout my life are silly escapist films like Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Labyrinth, and Batman. I make no apologies for that. And if you enjoy fantasy, sci-fi and comic books then my god has 2012 got you covered. 

See all the films I loved... after the jump.

Kickstart the Week: Pivit by Tyler Neylon

This game should get a mention just for it's fantastic logo, but the game looks pretty interesting as well. Pivit is an abstract game that is played on a checkerboard, using really nice little discs. The discs feature two arrows showing the direction they can move, as well as a color that shows whether they are a minion or a master. Minions can only move in the direction shown on their arrows and only to opposing color spaces on the board. Masters can move anywhere in the direction their arrows face.

It seems very basic, but a glance I can see the many, many possibilities of moves and can imagine this being the missing link between checkers and chess (neither of which have a sweet logo).

Check it out:

There is a long way to go for Pivit to hit it's lofty $50,000 goal, but there is still a few weeks. You can pledge $40 to receive the discs (along with rules, etc) to play on your existing checkerboard, and then $50 for a full boxed version with a board.

Pivit on Kickstarter:

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Luke's Top Ten Favourite Video Games of 2012!

It's that time of the year again when we, like every other frigging site out there, obediently pump out our obligatory Best of the Year lists for you to disdainfully roll your dull eyes at. DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN!?

Actually it IS a hell of a lot of fun, which is why we're still excited to do it and why you've managed to read this far! And to reward your tenacity I am kicking things off with my Favourite 10 Video Games of 2012! 

Are they without a doubt the absolute best games made this year? Well... I'll do all the usual disclaimers (and provide you with the full list)... after the jump!

Review: Hot Toys Red Skull 1/6 Scale Collectible Figure!

By far my collecting highlight for 2012 has been Hot Toys brilliant, eerily realistic, 1/6th scale collectible figure line, with characters spanning from The Avengers, Batman 89, The Dark Knight Rises, and even Sucker Punch. We'll be covering a handful of recent figures over the next couple of weeks, not the least of which is 1940's Hydra super-villain the Red Skull, as portrayed by fellow Australian Hugo Weaving in Captain America: The First Avenger. Our dearest friends at Sideshow Collectibles have generously provided us with the angry, skinless Mr. Johann Schmidt and I can't wait to tell you all about him. Just look at this crimson curmudgeon!

That's one hell of a shaving accident! Find out all that the reddest of skulls has to offer... after the jump!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

El Professore Movie Reviews: Tarkan Viking Kani (Tarkan and the Blood of the Vikings) (aka Tarkan vs. the Vikings)

Director: Mehmet Aslan
Starring: Kartal Tibet, Eva Bender, Seher Seniz
* * * *
Turkish Pop Cinema of the '70s is like junk food for the brain. It has no nutritional value whatsoever and if watched in bulk, could leave damaging long term fatty deposits. Regardless, I've binged on this stuff ever since I first found out of it's existence about a dozen years ago. Watching these films are a unique experience as most display little in the way of a budget and apparently even less in filmmaking knowledge. Some of the shots, special effects and editing would make even Ed Wood blush. They are probably some of the most incompetently made movies in world cinema. Yet what they lack in technical knowhow, they make up for (and then some) in sheer entertainment value and in your face, go for broke bravada. I have never in my life seen such manic and intensely crazed films anywhere. The best of these I find endlessly rewatchable and and a total riot. One of the first I ever saw (thanks to a wonderful 'Mondo Macabro' dvd release) was 'Tarkan and the Blood of the Vikings' which they saw fit shorten to 'Tarkan vs. the Vikings'.

Full review after the jump.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Review: The "Final" Wave of Star Wars Vintage Action Figures, Part 1: Return of the Jedi.

The fabled/frustrating Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar may have wrapped up, but there's still plenty of new thrilling/sometimes confusing Star Wars content to be had, especially if you're a jaded old skool afficienado desperately seeking a kick to the old nostalgia balls.

A year or two ago Hasbro put their 3 3/4 inch figures back on classic silver and black cards but, sadly, all good things come to an end and the last wave of 2012 is actually the last wave (at least for now) of the "vintage" styled line. And to pile even more salt into your teary wound, this last wave is available from online retailers only - no doubt because most brick and mortar stores are still drowning under stacks of unsold Phantom Menace figures from the 3D re-release.

But let's sweep all that negativity under the wampa rug. The good news is that this is a super solid wave of twelve new action figures, including some awesome re-dos of classic trilogy characters. If this image doesn't get those aforementioned nostalgia balls throbbing then I would recommend checking your connection between your brain and your nostalgia balls...

Man, that card art takes me right back to 1983! POW! If you feel anything at all looking at that image then you better join me after the jump! Hurry before Disney adds mouse ears and fairy wings!

The Readthrough of Time: Towers of Midnight

The Readthrough of Time is reaching its home stretch as we get moving with Towers of Midnihgt. While I did enjoy this volume, the book was a lesson in even a great author not being able to completely rescue less than stellar source material all the time.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Broke Video Gamer: Continent of the Ninth Seal Review

Every time I place myself into an MMO, I go in with hopes of finding new friends, building a massive army, and taking over/destroying that world. This week, my tendencies for escapism took me to the Continent of the Ninth Seal, aka C9. It is an MMORPG released by Webzen Games in July of 2012. The pretty ads on Steam and the awesome trailer were more than enough to have me start the lengthy download and patch process. Let’s see if this one is ripe for harvest to feed my delusions of grandeur.

Click for the entire review.

Let's Talk Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

I can't remember the last time a book grabbed me and immersed me quite the way Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell did. This wasn't a book that I was necessarily in a rush to read until I saw a) that the BBC was making a miniseries out of it and b) so many of my friends immediately began raving about how good it was.

So I dove in. What I thought was going to be a fairly standard fantasy novel ended up being so much more. It's still fantasy, but it has elements of Infinite Jest, The Prestige, all sorts of fairy tales, European's no surprise that the book took nearly a decade to finish.

Come along beyond the jump for more on the book and some guesses as to what good casting might look like for the miniseries!

Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale (PS3 & Vita) Two Sentence Review

Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale (a/k/a Sony Smash Bros) is a very familiar, yet somehow different, multiplayer battle game set in the diverse extended Playstation Universe that sets Fat Princess against PaRappa the Rapper, Kratos, Big Daddy and many more. As a lover of Super Smash Bros. this game was a "must try", and thankfully after a few rounds it was obvious that it was a "must buy".

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Post-Holiday Bonus

It would be inappropriate to put this song anywhere else but after the Christmas holiday. Plus, that song yesterday...yeah.

I hope everyone had a good one!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Nerd History, Christmas/Apocalypse Edition: The Prophet Hen of Leeds

On a day where Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ mere days after celebrating the fact that the Mayans were wrong and the world did not, in fact, end, I tripped up on a doomsday prophecy that bonds the two ideas together.

It turns out that, in 1806, a hen laid some eggs. The eggs made a bold statement: "Christ is coming." The "Prophet Hen of Leeds," as it were, immediately got the attention of the more religious locals and it caused some problems until it was learned that the entire thing was indeed a hoax - the hoaxster actually inscribed the eggs and then forced them back into the bird to be lain again.

So if you enjoy some chicken with your family today, think of the hen that didn't die for anyone's sins, but set a small community off anyway. Merry Christmas!

25 Days of Christmas Songs: Day 25

Jon LaJoie is a comedian who made his name on YouTube and is now one of the funniest characters on The League. Since he claims this is "The Best Christmas Song," who am I to argue?

Enjoy the day! Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Stryder's Favourite Comics - 12/19/2012

Merry Christmas everybody!

Despite being rather busy roasting chestnuts and hanging stockings and whatnot, I STILL managed to read a bunch of comic books this week! It's all about prioritizing, right? In any case, Santa may be coming to town tonight, but the Joker and H'El are both already here...

Supergirl #15 - "His voice is so cold, like the deepest, darkest corner of space.  But his words...If he can really save Krypton...I have no choice but to follow."

"H'El on Earth" continues as Supergirl agrees to help H'El with his plan to somehow go back in time before Krypton was destroyed and save the planet!  This, despite the fact that she knows almost nothing about H'El or his alleged plan.  Well, Kara hasn't shown very much capacity for calmly and rationally thinking out her decisions and coming to the smartest conclusion in the past, and this is no exception!

H'El takes Kara to the Fortress of Solitude (he "liberated" it from Superman and his guest/patient Superboy in last week's Superboy #15) and, with a touch, simlutaneously shrinks her and teleports her INTO the "Bottle City of Kandor"!  This is the saved Kryptonian city that Brainiac had on his spaceship.  All of it's inhabitants are in stasis and it's guarded by robots, but that shouldn't stop Kara and H'El's astral projection from retrieving a special quantam crystal power source!  Kara is reluctant to remove this crystal, which the city needs, but H'El convinces her that it's all good due to the paradox of time travel.  Yeah, right...

Oh, incidentally, Superman and Superboy are still hanging around in the snow outside the Fortress of Solitude while this is going on, unable to gain entry...crazy!  Maybe they should try going down the chimney!

See what's happening in Gotham City and elsewhere, after the JUMP!

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 24

I really love Fitz and the Tantrums. They're a throwback without being ironic about it, they clearly love what they do, and the musicality is great. When I heard their Christmas song on New Girl a couple weeks ago, I rushed out to add it to all my playlists.

If this happens to your lady tonight, call the police.

Arbor Christmas Volume 13 - A Collection of Original Christmas Songs

Each year, bands from South Jersey, Philadelphia and beyond, join forces to make the Arbor Christmas Collection, a compilation of (mostly) original Christmas music. And now in its 13th year, the compilation is better than ever. You may recognize bands like Into It. Over It, or Young Statues on the list, right next to bands that are formed specifically for this compilation each year (Norick Eve, etc.)

Highlights include The Infiniteens Royal Tenenbaums-ish Ring A Bell, Ages dark piano driven' All Saints, Joy Riding's debut song (which reminds me of Superchunk goodness) Joy (To The World) Riding and so much more. There are 19 tracks total, making this the largest Arbor Christmas Collection to date.

I even have a place on the compilation each year, with this year's contribution being The Castle Arms (featuring Bueller Da Don) Wrap Battle, a Judgment Night influenced rock / hip-hop mash-up / duel about gift wrap ("You can't spell represent without present").

Download link:

And while you are at it, you can download the 12 previous compilations for free at

Exclusive to the South Jersey area is the actual Arbor Christmas Show, a play / live performance by many of the bands on the compilation. This is what started the whole thing many years ago. This years was all about time travel, filled with Star Wars and 911 jokes. I have yet to see a video surface, but Mark Martucci (photographer and singer/songwriter on the compilation) put together a great Flickr album from the event. You can view it here:

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 24: Darth Claus.

We did it you guys! Santa Claus is already coming down the aptly named Santa Claus Lane and we are about to enjoy the very last day of our Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar. We've had laughs, we've had tears, we've had more tears, we've had scratched heads, we've had confused parents frantically googling, and then even more tears. But we got there in the end. HIGH FIVE, you guys. Everything always works out in the end.

You already know what we're getting but let's hold hands and open Door #24 - together - after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 24: A Clash of Kings.

This is it, you guys, tomorrow is Christmas and today is the epic conclusion of the savage and sexy tale that is the Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar! Our journey has been long, arduous, and improvised, but Mad Gary Targaryen has summoned an angry dragon, defeated the pretender, Sir Dudley of Moore, and stormed the castle with his new sidekick, Peck Pussywillow, the midget skeleton. Yesterday they found a giant blue chest. What is their (and your) reward?

Let's kick open Door #24... after the jump!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 23

Lisa Loeb became famous in the same time frame that I started paying attention to girls and music, so she always has a good place in my heart, as do those glasses of her's. Her version of "Jingle Bells" is a little funky and different, but it's okay because it's Lisa Loeb. Right?

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 23: Snowbot!

It's the moment you've all been waiting for, regardless of whether you're a disgruntled, baffled parent or a disappointed child! It's the second last day of the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar and we are finally guaranteed to receive the couple of awesome gifts that we were promised on the box. I mean... we are guaranteed, right? Right???

Let's cross our eager fingers and bust in Door #23... after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 23: Getting It Off Our Chest!

It is the penultimate day of the epic Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar! The wicked Sir Dudley of Moore was ravaged by the summoned dragon and the victorious Mad Gary Targaryen gained access to the Keep! It was there where he found the restless spirit of skeleton midget, Peck Pussywillow, and they began to roam the castle's tunnels.

What exciting crap did they find? See it all when we open Door #23... after the jump!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

El Professore Movie Reviews: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Director: R. Winer
Starring: Jay Ripley, Shay Garner, Pat Morrell, Bob O'Connell, Ruth McMahon
* 1/2

If Hell does indeed exist, then I'm pretty sure that it would have a spot reserved for the makers of 'Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny'.

Full review after the jump.

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 22

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a holiday classic for reasons inexplicable to me. It's a really, really creepy song.

If you're headed to a Christmas party tonight, and someone starts singing this to you, consider getting away. If Lyle Lovett is leering at you and singing it, run.

(But seriously, if this song is your cup of (roofied) tea, this is one of my favorite versions.)

Friday, December 21, 2012

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 22: What the Sith is This?

With but three days left on the often baffling Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar we already deduced which gifts were left (because they were prominently pictured on the frigging box!). Two of these look pretty great. One of them... not so much. But which one are we going to get?

We'll never know unless we blast open Door #22... after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 22: Midget Macabre!

The end is nigh for the Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar and our epic tale of bumpy dragon tongues and treachery is a drawing to a bone-rattling conclusion! Yesterday Sir Dudley
 of Moore was ravage by red, scaly nightmare dragon, Antagonos the Pissed, and the wicked Mad Gary Targaryen nicked his keys and entered the Keep. But what did he discover there? It's the LAST thing you'll expect.

We'll unlock Door #22 after the jump!

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 21

I'm not going to lie - "Christmas at Ground Zero" is probably my favorite Weird Al song, and one of my favorite Christmas songs. Geopolitical disaster around the holidays? I suppose that's my idea of a good time. Plus, with the world ending at some point today and all...

Everyone knows who Weird Al is, as if you'd need an introduction. He's also responsible for the other Christmas classic "The Night Santa Went Crazy."

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 21: I'm Super, Thanks For Asking!

It is day 21 of the consistently infuriating, obscure treasure trove that is the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar which has around a 70% chance everyday of baffling everybody but the hardcore. But fear not, confused parents and/or dumb kids! We are firmly among the hardcore and will gladly assist you with all your identifying needs. Not that you're going to need it this time...

You'll see why when we pry open Door #21... after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 21: Patience is Key.

Having narrowly avoided apocalypse we are now but four little doors away from Christmas, at least according to our epic sword, sorcery and schlong-filled Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar! Yesterday was the most wondrous day yet when a huge, red scaly dragon named Atagonos the Pissed was successfully summoned in a fireside ritual and started to beat his leathery wings, belch his fiery burps, and generally tear shit up! In a hundred years time people will STILL be singing songs about that terrifying day and we should be grateful that we'll be dead and won't have to listen to them.

But for now, let's open up Door #21... after the jump!

Street Fighter X Mega Man Is Out & It's Free!

If there was ever a time that I wished I had a PC, it would be RIGHT NOW.

Street Fighter X Megaman is a Capcom approved, fan-made PC crossover of two of the best NES era game series. Megaman, being one of the hardest 8-bit platformers ever, battles through the world of Street Fighter, confronting final bosses that include Dhalsim, Chun Li, Rolento and more. It sounds wonderful, and very well may be, but I don't have a PC, so I will never know. 

But you can find out for yourself, and for free! The full game is available as a free download. The link is below this awesome teaser video.

Best Music of 2012

Another year gone. My total reliance on Spotify means that I was both exposed to and purchased more music this year than I probably have in some time. This means that I either discovered more good music than ever before, or that this was just an exceptional year musically. I definitely feel like any of the first eleven albums could have theoretically been my number one in other years, which is ridiculous.

Anyway, some of my favorite tracks are on a public playlist on Spotify for you, and if you think I missed anything, let me know in the comments. Beyond the jump, let's get started...

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 20

I love She & Him, the collaboration between Manic Pixie Dream Girl Zooey Deschanel and Manic Hipster Dream Guitarist M. Ward. The fact that they did a Christmas album together is awesome, and the fact that the album itself is a favorite of mine for Christmas songs overall doesn't hurt, either.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 20: Revenge of the Shite!

It's day of the ultimately alienating Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar and I'm sorry to inform you that the madness continues. Yesterday many of you flocked to the site to find the answer to what the hell Day 19 was, and I fear that, unless you're a hardcore collector, today is going to result in similar issues. Issues that need tissues. For your disappointed children's snot-smeared, rotund faces.

But don't worry, buddys, as always we have you covered. We know what's behind Door #20... after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 20: Burninator!

I refuse to believe that it is already day 20 of the epic tale of savage, debacherous butchery that is the Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar! But let's not drown in unnecessary adjectives! Today's door is so gigantic that is a DOUBLE-DOOR...

What massive gift could be lurking behind this intimidating cardboard facade? Why can I smell sulphur? Where is that scratching and howling coming from? Why is everybody suddenly so damn nervous?

We blast open Door #20... after the jump!

Nerd History: Must Be Santa!

Given some of the bizarre, out of date, offensive Christmas ads we saw last week, it's interesting to see the evolution of one of the classic icons of the Christmas season, the Coca-Cola Santa Claus. The image of Santa with a Coke is so ingrained in American culture at this point that Coca-Cola outright takes credit for forming this idea in our minds:

In 1931 the company began placing Coca-Cola ads in popular magazines. Archie Lee, the D'Arcy Advertising Agency executive working with The Coca-Cola Company, wanted the campaign to show a wholesome Santa who was both realistic and symbolic. So Coca-Cola commissioned Michigan-born illustrator Haddon Sundblom to develop advertising images using Santa Claus — showing Santa himself, not a man dressed as Santa.

For inspiration, Sundblom turned to Clement Clark Moore's 1822 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" (commonly called "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"). Moore's description of St. Nick led to an image of a warm, friendly, pleasantly plump and human Santa. (And even though it's often said that Santa wears a red coat because red is the color of Coca-Cola, Santa appeared in a red coat before Sundblom painted him.)

What's amusing about this entire thing is that, while the Coke Santa is the preeminent Santa in our minds, the image we know and love was created years earlier, and has well over 100 years of history to it at this point, and that's before factoring in The Night Before Christmas, first published in the 1820s.

Coke seems to rely more on those stupid polar bears these days (as someone from Massachusetts, polar bears and soft drinks will always refer to these guys), but you can rest easy this Christmas knowing that our idea of Santa isn't the fault of a sugary soft drink.

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 19

Given the talk of Santa today in my other post, there's no better time to pick up this weird Bob Dylan Christmas tune. He put out a whole album of Christmas songs in 2009, and it''s just weird. I don't know how else to put it. It's just kind of weird. I guess when you're Bob Dylan, though, you just do whatever you want.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012, Day 19: Shite Shuttle!

Uh oh. It's day 19 of the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar and I am straight out going to level with you. I've already peeked at today's gift and it's one of those unfortunate ones that are going to leave frustrated parents scratching their heads and shaking their fists at the sky while confused children scream through sticky maws, tears running down their snot streaked faces. And the biggest question of all will be, "WHAT IS THIS FRIGGING THING?" 

Relax. Relax. I know the answer...

Door #19's secrets are revealed... after the jump!

Game of Thrones Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 19: Hit or Missile?

It's Day #19 of ye olde (possibly) Game of Thrones inspired Playmobil Advent Calendar and as Mad Dragon Bangin' Gary Targaryen issued a challenge to Sir Dudley of Moore via a dark summoning ritual, yesterday I issued my own challenge to Playmobil. I said, "I love this giant ballista you gave me and I love your calendar, bro, but please do not have the audacity to include its ammo as a separate gift. That would be... UnChristmassy." Did they take note or thumb their nose?

We'll bust open Door #19 and find out... after the jump!

Stryder's Favourite Comics - 12/12/2012

Joker fans rejoice!  Death of the Family took over this week with another FOUR tie-ins!  That's one busy clown!  Let's take a look...

Batman #15 - "Look into his eyes and tell yourself he's just a man..."

More of the Joker's nefarious ploy to "strengthen" Batman by separating him from all of the allies who've been, in the Clown Prince's opinion, weakening his brand, is revealed in this stellar continuation of "Death of the Family"! Joker's claiming to know the true identities of the Bat and all of his allies...despite Bruce's insistence that this is impossible.  However, Bruce is harbouring a secret from his "Family" as that may lend credence to the theory that the Joker actually DOES know! 

Or maybe Joker's just messing with all of the Bat-Family's collective heads, trying to turn them against each other?  If may be working!

Guess we'll find out soon enough, as Batman's next step is to accept a party invite from the Joker...a party being held at Arkham Asylum!!  This is bad, but much worse is Joker's promise to all of Batman's allies..."in less than three days, you'll be dead, dead, DEAD by Batman's hand!"

Lots more Joker and some Before Watchmen and Superboy thrown in for variety!  After the JUMP!

25 Days of 25 Christmas Songs: Day 18

Speaking of Christmas songs that...probably shouldn't exist, here's Scott Weiland - lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver, as well as a connoisseur of a variety of hard drugs - doing his version of "Winter Wonderland."

There's a whole album of 'em. I have no words.

The Book Was Better Podcast Episode 33: Santa Claus The Movie!

The Book Was Better is the podcast where Jessica and I read, discuss and heartlessly mock the novelisation of your favourite and not-so-favourite films!

This is a big one! It’s our last episode of 2012, Jessica’s second last episode before her maternity leave, AND it’s our big ol’ Christmas special! We read at the not-so-classic, critically maligned Santa Claus: the Movie based on the 1985 film starring the late Dudley Moore as an elf and a young John Lithgow as a hilariously evil toymaker! Miss this and you deserve coal in your stocking!

Download it now at the official site or why not gift yourself a subscription on iTunes so we can slide down your ear-chimney all year round!