Robocop. Robocrap?

Set images featuring the new Robocop design from next year’s Robocop reboot have been revealed and this steadfast robofan is far from impressed! Robocop is supposed to be: half man, half machine, all cop, but this guy looks to be: 80% man, 20% body armour, all suck. Just look at the nerve of this character...

We’re so used to seeing actors in sleek rubber body suits that without the clunky cyborg parts there is little here to suggest that he’s a robot at all. He looks like a guy from Mass Effect! I thought that the whole premise of Robocop was that playing God with robot cops had never been done before! So the fact that he was a bulky, awkward, servo-whining monstrosity was all part of his robo-charm! He was a tape deck, not an iPod! There should be something laboured and tragic about him. And he should look like he’s wearing a small car!

I’ve already suffered through the Total Recall remake this year, and saw what happens when you suck out all the over-the-top satire/violence/crassness of a Paul Verhoeven original and make a sleek but bland version, completely devoid of fun. I’m not sure I want to put myself through that again. And I don’t want you to either, because you’re fragile and delicate. I know Robocop and you, sir, are no Robocop! Let’s hope there’s still time to save this.