Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Review: Hasbro Star Wars 3 3/4" Dr. Evazan and Kithaba!

I’m at a crossroads with my Star Wars collecting. Product is scarce, what can be found isn't always that exciting, and I’m running out of space. This weekend, in fact, I plan to cull at least a chunk of my collection at a local toy fair, so I am flailing for a focus. But, when all else fails, there’s still plenty of solace in the original trilogy - those comfort films that were ever present through my childhood - so when I saw these two misanthropic characters hanging from the pegs I felt that all too familiar caress on my nostalgia button.

I picked up curmudgeonly cantina patron Dr. Evazan and skiff guard turned Sarlacc snack Kithaba. How do these two creeps measure up? Join me after the jump!

Even 35 years post Star Wars I can’t deny the allure of a classic character on a vintage card. As a young child who had been mesmerized by the movie, I couldn't have even told you who Han Solo was, but I was fascinated by all of the creatures and villains that populated the backgrounds. Most of my initial collecting focused around these unsavoury characters so upon recently discovering both a cantina patron AND a member of Jabba’s posse, I was powerless to resist. No matter how scaled back my collection gets, my cantina and Jabba’s palace aren’t going anywhere. And my ewoks. Goddamn I love me some ewoks.

But as nice as these cards are we’re going to savagely rip them open to expose their plastic fruits. Starting with the pizza faced Dr. Evazan.

So you remember this guy, right? He’s the guy that goes, “He doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either.” Wouldn’t it be great if Luke was all, “What? Seriously? But I think you guys are total sweethearts! In fact I was just about to ask you both if you wanted to go away for the weekend!” After all, they were “wanted men”.

Look at that face! What happened to this guy? He’s missing an eye and has his nose all punched in. And he’s friends with a walrus. Dr. Evazan is perhaps the most wretched character in the Star Wars universe. After child Anakin.

This screen accurate Evazan sculpt has been a long time coming. 35 years in fact. He was never released in the original vintage line and wasn’t immortalised in plastic until the revival in the late nineties. And that figure - the one we’ve all had in our collections up until now - was positively dreadful. Don’t believe me that these current figures are an upgrade? Check out this comparison shot...

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! That has to be the worst modern figure ever! It doesn’t look remotely like him! And he has fancy hair and he’s all buff. How did that even happen? I can only assume that everyone was super drunk at the Hasbro Christmas party last year and were about to leave before realising - “Oh shit... we still have to sculpt Evazan. No matter... we’ll all - hiccup - do it together. Pass me that frigging Play-Doh, wouldja?”

So this new one really is a great sculpt that’s long overdue. My only criticisms would be that he’s a bit light on the accessories, being packed with just a single gun that fits into his holster. Shouldn’t he at least have a glass of space beer or something? And he’s a doctor, right? How about a stethoscope? Sorry - space stethoscope.

If Hasbro needed to save a couple of bucks they probably could have skipped out on some of the articulation. He’s got ankle joints even! What do they think he’s going to be doing? Pirouettes? I imagine most folks will display him leaning up against the bar in a drunken haze. Here he is my display...

And here’s him hanging out with his best bro...

“Don’t worry about him, Farm Boy. He’s ‘armless! Ha! Geddit? Yes? Could you explain it to me? I’m pissed off my tits.”

So that’s that guy sorted. Now what about Kithaba. What’s his caper?

Now I think that this actually might be some sort of variant. I read somewhere perhaps that he initially was packed with a brown headband and then they changed it to red or something? I might have dreamed that. I dream about Kithaba a lot. I dream of a utopian future where Kithaba is on the cover of all the teen magazines.

Jabba sure had a lot of skiff guards. I don’t know what’s so tantalising about a skiff that it requires so many guards but that’s what we’ve got. On closer inspection Kithaba is the one that most resembles an incredibly angry otter. 

He fares a little bit better in the accessory department, coming packed with a gun (that fits neatly in his holster) and a big old skiff-tested poking pole. He also has superfluous leg articulation, presumably for skiff-jigs.

And if you would like a further comparison of how the modern line hasn’t always been quite as modern as you remember, here he is next to his closest counterpart from the recent past...

It’s pretty craptacular, right? And that’s the other struggle with the collection at the moment too. I realise now that half of the figures in my dioramas are awful compared to the newest ones. I have no idea how to solve this anymore. With fire, probably.

Here’s Kithaba being put to work on a skiff. The skiff where everyone has fallen over apparently...

And there you have it! Two solid, much needed updates to semi-important/peripheral characters! Unmissable!

1 comment:

  1. Dude... your sense of humor is awesome! I wish I was that witty.
    I DO have the older bendy-legged Evazan but I recently got the new uper-uber-poseable Evazan and Bom Vindin at Toys R Us for $8.60, $4.99 each, or buy one get one half off. I have the old Evazan on a shelf with a few G.I. Joes / Trekkers / Assorted figures seated around my 13-piece Cantina bar set (the sections you could get with Cantina scene figures).