StarWTF!? Episode 53: Lumpy (The 2015 StarWTF!? Holiday Special)

While The rest of the country celebrates the new Star Wars film, we here at StarWTF!? know that's there's something more important about this time of year. That's right, it's time to cuddle up by the fire and remember that the Star Wars Holiday Special exists. And boy, do we have a big one this year. He's tiny, he's hairy, he's... Lumpy? Yes, the true stand out star of the Star Wars holiday special makes his premiere on our show! We discuss everything from his humble origins to his insane future! Is Lumpy Chewbacca's son? What is his real name exactly? Why is he so darned terrifying? Find out all this and more as we dig into the lumpy carpet that is Lumpy.

It should be noted that before you begin this episode, that this was recorded before we saw The Force Awakens. So, any predictions and guesses that we say are likely false. Please feel free to make fun of us if we manage to say some guess that turned out hilariously wrong.

Download Episode 53 - Lumpy

Lumpawaroo, also known as Waroo, was a Wookiee male who emerged from the shadow of his famous father Chewbacca to become a brave, talented, and powerful warrior within the Rwookrrorrocommunity on the planet Kashyyyk. Born Lumpawarrump in 1 BBYand known as Lumpy throughout his youth, he was raised by his mother Mallatobuck and his grandfather Attichitcuk while Chewbacca served a life debt to and traveled the galaxy with the Human smuggler Han Solo. 

StarWTF!? Episode 52: PZ-4CO (and The Force Awakens!)

We decided to do a very speculative episode on a Force Awakens character that we really know nothing about. Based off of an action figure, we chose PZ-4CO, a Resistance Base Control Room Droid, who is as blue as it gets and has a very cool, yet kind of funky-looking action figure.

The first half of this episode consists of our pre-The Force Awakens speculation and the second is our post-The Force Awakens realizations (and a SPOILER HEAVY brief discussion of the film).  So if you've seen the film, listen away! If you haven't, we tell you when to stop (around 16 minutes and 30 seconds).

So what's up with PZ-4CO? Will this droid be important? Force sensitive? Save the world?

Download Episode 52 - PZ-43O

StarWTF!? Episode 51: Battle Droid

Yet again we peer into the deep depths of stupidity that is the Phantom Menace and bring out one of the first things we see on screen. It's the Battle Droid! Those ineffectual robots that we see get taken down by the thousands through out the prequel trilogy and Clone Wars TV show. Listen as we discuss the in and outs of these robot failures and talk about all the dumb things involved in their creation behind the scenes. What does the head of a battle droid look like? How many kinds of them are there? Why where they ineffectual enemies? Is is Gungan or Gunga? Find out as we slash our way through the cannon fodder robots!

Download Episode 51 - Battle Droid

During the Clone Wars, the Confederacy of Independent Systems used a variety of battle droids in their droid army, including B1 battle droids, B2 super battle droids, and Droidekas. The battle droids were often led in military campaigns by the Kaleesh cyborg General Grievous.

Although battle droids were outlawed by the Galactic Empire in the wake of the Clone Wars, companies such as Holowan Laboratories were able to evade the ban by having their products reclassified as security droids.

StarWTF!? Episode 49: Qabbrat a/k/a Darth Vader's Meditation Chamber

Ah! It's good to be out of a prequel or a expanded universe character and back on to the classics! Today, we talk about the Qabbrat! The good old classic Qabbrat! What? Don't know what that is? Well, you certainly remember it quite well! It's Darth Vader's Meditation chamber from The Empire Strikes Back!

We look in depth to this device, discussing it's innards and speculate what else it does? Does that helmet arm do anything else? Can it transported places? Does he have more? Why is it called a Qabbrat? Found out as our robo arms apply our breathing masks and talk about this weird pod one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 49 - Qabbrat

Darth Vader's meditation chamber, or Qabbrat[1] was a life support pod that allowed the Sith Lord to survive for extended periods without the helmet and mask of his suit. The injuries Vader sustained during the duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar normally made this impossible.

StarWTF!? Episode 48: Gragra

We apologize for once again bringing up the Phantom Menace yet again, but we’ve managed to dig something quite interesting out of the bowels of it’s infinite oddities.

It’s Gragra, the Mos Espa gorgmonger who yells at Jar Jar to stop eating her weird lizard things on strings. While seemingly an obscure character with no back story, Gragra manages to have one of the most bizarre back stories we’ve seen so far. What exactly is Gragra? What’s a Gorgmonger and what exactly is a gorg? What’s Gragra’s home life like? How many gorgs does it take to buy a starship? Find out all of this and more as we discuss this Swokes Swokes one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 48 - Gragra

Gragra was a Swokes Swokes gorgmonger that worked in the marketplace of Mos Espa. Gragra grew her food in a sewer zone underneath Mos Espa.

StarWTF!? Episode 47: Jaxxon

He’s green, he’s furry, and he’s got a whole lot of attitude! He’s Jaxxon! If you don’t quite remember that name then you may remember him as the Green Anthropomorphic bunny wearing a spacesuit that you read about once in a list of the worst Star Wars expanded universe characters. We take a look at this rather obscure character from a 1977 Star Wars comic and discuss what the character’s done and where he’s gone since his debut. Where did Jaxxon come from? How did he come to work with Han Solo? How sweet looking was his spaceship? Does he like carrots? Find out all of this and more as we rip apart this green Lepus Carnivorus one useless fact at a time.

Download Episode 47 - Jaxxon

Jaxxon was a quick-witted Lepi smuggler from Coachelle Prime. The most rambunctious of his family's thirteen children, he left his homeworld at an early age, after stealing an unprotected freighter. He made his way to Nar Shaddaa, where he began to perform odd jobs, quickly becoming familiar with the important elements of fringe culture.

StarWTF!? Episode 46: B'omarr Monks

Wow. B'omarr Monks really surprised me. There is so much more to them than those creepy spider droids with jarred brains. The spider droid ISN'T REALLY EVEN the B'omarr Monk! This episode was a lesson learned in weird Star Wars information.

Download Episode 46 - B'omarr Monks'

The B'omarr are the monks who built the massive monastery fortress Jabba the Hutt occupies as his palace. They are spider-droids that carry around a nutrient-globe containing a living, sentient brain. These brains are all that remain of the enlightened monks.

STarWTF!? Episode 45: Bothans

So WTF is a Bothan and how many of them died to bring us the plans for the second death star.? Did you know they were furry dog/horse/cat like people? 

There’s a lot of non-canon information about Bothans, so we’re getting right down to it.

Download Episode 45 - Bothans

Bothans (pronounced /'bɑθɪn/) were furry mammalian anthropoids, about 1.5 meters tall. Hailing from Bothawui and several colonies, Bothans differed in facial appearance and body structure with canine, feline, and equine features. They were known for being master politicians and spies, craving intrigue and subterfuge.

StarWTF!? Episode 43: Mandalorian Armor

Today we discuss Mandalorian Armor. It's more than just the Fett family's choice of clothing. It goes WAY BACK. More than 4000 years back. We look at the changes that were made over the years, improvements (such as protection from rapid beheadings), and the reason for choosing specific colored armor.

Other than that, we just talk about why it's so cool.

Download Episode 43 - Mandalorian Armor

The most recognizable symbol of the Mandalorian culture, Mandalorian armor was a catch-all term for the sets of distinctive full-body armor worn by Mandalorian warriors and soldiers throughout galactic history. Known as beskar'gam in the Mandalorian language of Mando'a—a name which meant "iron skin" when translated into Basic—Mandalorian armor was central to the Mandalorian way of life, and the wearing of armor was one of the Resol'nare, the six tenets that defined the Mandalorian culture.

StarWTF!? Episode 41: Zabrak

Today we talk about a species that is pretty much Mike Tyson with horns. That's a little bit of a stretch, but on the surface Zabrak's are just humans with some horns and face tattoos. But is there more deep down? Are these an interesting species?

We take a look at it and find out a few interesting things about what makes them tick, where they came from and what happens when they breed with other species.

Download Episode 41 - Zabrak

The Zabrak, also known as Iridonians when referring to the Zabrak who came from Iridonia, were a carnivorous Near-Human species native to Iridonia, a planet located in the Mid Rim known for its inhospitable terrain and fierce predatory life. They were a species known for having a fierce sense of self-determination and an equally dominant need for independence.

StarWTF!? Episode 39: Mount Sorrow

Wow. Just wow.

That might be enough to say about Mount Sorrow. But no, we recorded a full episode about it. How else are we going to speculate on whether or not a talking sentient mountain will appear in Episode 7? (Hint... it won't.)

But yes, Mount Sorrow is actually a thing, and by many opinions, it's one of the worst Star Wars things that has ever existed. So, of course we will be talking about it.

Download Episode 39 - Mount Sorrow

Mount Sorrow was a mountain on the Forest Moon of Endor. The tip of the mountain was in fact sentient, and had the power to both blow people off the summit, or cry tears of healing. Sorrow was a figure of legend in Ewok lore, albeit an obscure one, known only to the shamans and witch doctors of Endor. Sometime during the Imperial era, Mount Sorrow was able to cure budding poet Teebo of the perilous laughing spell, inherited from a loonee bird in the Endor woods.

StarWTF!? Episode 36: Speeder Bike

We are back with a vehicle! And not a starship or walker or anything like that. It's the Speeder Bike! Only one of the coolest vehicles in the galaxy.

We look at WHY the speeder bike is so cool and discuss the TWO Return of the Jedi scenes as well as the Revenge of the Sith scene (who knew there was one?). We also discuss the best swing set of all time, the Scout Walker Command Tower by Gym Dandy with bonus Speeder Bike swing. This one's a long one, but a good one.

Download Episode 36 - Speeder Bike

Speeder bikes, also known as hover bikes, were open-air repulsorlift vehicles, usually carrying one or two passengers. Speeder bikes emphasized speed and maneuverability over conventional speeders and were popular with thrill-seeking teenagers and military scouts. A typical speeder bike had a maximum altitude of 10 meters (32 feet) and could thus maneuver deftly over very rough terrain. Some companies manufactured extras like sidecars for speeder bikes.

StarWTF!? Episode 35: Count Dooku

In a very sad WTF!? moment last week, we found out that Sir Christopher Lee passed away at the age of 93. While he was known for many, many films, we wanted to get together and reminisce about his days as Dooku, the poorly-named Dark Lord of the Sith. We take a look into his battle scenes, the CGI that surrounds them, his death, and the action figures (with action features!) that followed.

Christopher Lee will be missed greatly.

Download Episode 35 - Count Dooku

Dooku was a Jedi Master who fell to the dark side of the Force and became a Dark Lord of the Sith, known as Darth Tyranus. Born into a noble family on the planet Serenno, he was the heir to vast wealth and the noble title of Count. Dooku was taken by the Jedi Order as a child and apprenticed to Thame Cerulian. As a Jedi Knight, he took Qui-Gon Jinn as his first Padawan, and later trained Komari Vosa. Dooku was a respected instructor in the Jedi Temple and one of the most renowned swordsmen in the galaxy, on par only with Masters Yoda and Mace Windu.

Star WTF!? Episode 34: Death Sticks

This episode has been a long time coming. Today we discuss Death Sticks, you know the illegal substances that Elan Sleazebaggano tries to sell to Obi Wan in Attack of the Clones? It's only one of the weirdest scenes in the prequel trilogy. We research Death Sticks to see what they're all about and try to determine whether or not this is just bad writing, or anti-smoking PSA message in the middle of a Star Wars film? You be the judge.

Download Episode 34 - Death Sticks

Death sticks were a mild hallucinogen primarily sold on Outer Rim worlds, but could be found in abundance on Coruscant. Originally developed in the illegal pharmaceutical labs of CoCo Town, they were relatively cheap and were smuggled into the clubs of cities by slythmongers. The cilona extract offered euphoria in exchange for a horrific outcome, producing a twisted version of reality enhanced by bright colors. With each dose, the user's life was shortened, and the successive dosages took away larger chunks from a lifespan. With each successive dose, the desire for a harder reaction increased. It was thus very difficult for a youth to shake off their addiction without medical assistance.

StarWTF!? Episode 33: Dengar

Oh Dengar... You are such an odd man. What's with the toilet paper? And you look like you've put on some weight.

Yes, today we talk about one of the stranger Bounty Hunters in the Star Wars universe, Dengar. He's briefly seen in The Empire Strikes Back, and we've recently learned (DURING THE EPISODE!) that he's seen even more in Return of the Jedi. But thankfully he has an awesome role in the Clone Wars series, and is actually played by a super cool actor. Listen in for all of the details, as well as our list of the Top 5 Bounty Hunters from The Empire Strikes Back.

Download Episode 33 - Dengar

Dengar, also known as "Payback," was a Corellian bounty hunter and the pilot of the Punishing One. Brought up in the culture of swoop bikes and becoming a successful racer himself, Dengar also led a double life as a successful bounty hunter during the Clone Wars, becoming one of the galaxy's most efficient mercenaries; his work teamed him with the likes of bounty hunters such as Boba Fett and Bossk. Dengar would eventually give up the life of bounty hunting to pursue his other passion: swoop racing.

StarWTF!? Episode 32: Sandcrawler

We're on a roll with oversized things in the Star Wars universe. You might say it's a slow roll. About as slow as the SANDCRAWLER crawling through the Tatooine desert.

Yes, today we discuss the mother of all land-based Star Wars vehicles.... the Sandcrawler! And probably more specifically, the Corellia Mining Corporation Digger Crawler. We get into the logistics of this thing, what's inside and what's making it run. The how's and why's and everything else.

Download Episode 32 - Sandcrawler

Sandcrawlers were large, slow, treaded vehicles, used as self propelled bases for mining squads. Most notable example of usage of these vessels, later adapted by Jawas for their mobile homes, was on Tatooine, where bulky sandcrawlers climbing the dunes were a common sight.

A question for our listeners. WTF was on the side of McQuarrie's Sandcrawler? A turret? A sidecar?

Star WTF!? Episode 31: Space Slug

You know exactly who we are talking about in this episode. No it's not Jabba the Hutt.... it's the nearly asteroid sized creature that almost cuts the Empire Strikes Back short by a good hour. It's the Space Slug, also known as Exogorth... and it is massive. So massive that the Millennium Falcon can fit between two of it's teeth. Is there more to the mysterious Space Slug than meets the eye? We shall see!

This is also the final episode in our Mike Matecha trilogy. Thanks Mike! Come back again sometime!

Download Episode 31 - Space Slug

Space slugs, or giant space slugs, were immense lifeforms known to live in the Outer Rim Territories. At least one space slug resided in an asteroid near the planet Hoth.

StarWTF!? Episode 30: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

In this episode Mike Matecha joins us again as we look at the Double-Bladed Lightsaber, as made popular by Darth Maul. We look at it's practicality, and discuss other Double-Bladed Lightsabers in the Star Wars Universe. We also discuss the color red and why it is always evil (THERE IS ACTUALLY A REASON!).

Download Episode 30 - Double-Bladed Lightsaber

The double-bladed lightsaber—also called a Saberstaff, Lightsaber Lance, Doublesaber, Dualsaber, Lightstaff, or the Sith lightsaber, was a specialized type of lightsaber that consisted of a single hilt with a beam emitter at both ends, resulting in a weapon that was wielded in a similar manner to a traditional quarterstaff. 

StarWTF!? Episode 29: Krayt Dragon

Today's episode is the Krayt Dragon, our first podcast subject that only appears on screen after it has already died. (I think, you can feel free to call me out on that.) The Krayt Dragon is seen as a skeleton  in C3P0 and R2D2's first Tatooine scenes in A New Hope. But OF COURSE there is more to say about the dragon. And most of it is a big letdown. It's short and squat and kind of like a fat lizard. But we have much more to say about it.

We also have a new special guest host on this episode. It's Mike Matecha, our good friend and fan of the show!

Download Episode 29 - Krayt Dragon

The krayt dragon was a large carnivorous reptile native to Tatooine.

StarWTF!? Episode 28: Bren Derlin

Cheers everybody! Today's episode is Major Bren Derlin, or as you may know him, the jerk that had to lock Luke and Han out of the Hoth base when he closed the doors for the night. But he was concerned about Princess Leia and the rest of the rebels safety, so he can't be that much of a jerk.

The most interesting thing about Bren Derlin is the actor who played him. John Ratzenberger, who is famously known as the know-it-all mailman Cliff Clavin from Cheers, disguised his face (sweet mustache) and voice for this role. It was a little before Cheers, but you would never know it was him.

Download Episode 28 - Bren Derlin

Bren Derlin was a male Human officer of the Rebel Alliance. Bearing the rank of Major, Derlin served as the operations and security chief at Echo Base, the Alliance headquarters on the planet Hoth, under the command of General Carlist Rieekan. In that post, Derlin had to order the closing of the base door to avoid putting the whole base in risk. By doing so, however, he risked the lives of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, two valuable Rebels. Soon after that event, Derlin served during the Battle of Hoth. During the Battle of Endor, Derlin served as Unit leader.