Sunday, September 2, 2012

Etsy round up: The Legend of Zelda!

Now before all else, I need to warn you that Zelda is not a franchise that I'm massively familiar with. Beyond the general cultural and internet memes that I've learned over time. But it is one that people go insane for, and so I had high expectations for this particular round up. Ready your shopping lists! As always, clicking on the image will take you on a magical journey into Etsyland.

Clickety clicky for below the break action--->

And we're off to a flying start. Call me old fashioned, but I just feel uncomfortable with any pants, hot or otherwise, featuring a splatter pattern. It irks me. It makes me wonder if the wearer is just more comfortable with a camouflaging print in the case of accidents.
This Etsy seller has also pushed that Valentine's Day is coming, and this is a perfect something for the ladies. Um. Yes. Sure. She will enjoy painting the shed in these.Good work, Lothario.

So I think this thing is pretty sweet, and a short browse through the sellers other items confirms that this dude has some skills. I can't imagine I'd be up for a full body cosplay with this, but to idly wear around the house to petrify the cat? Golden.

It's such a thrill when you find real, authentic, honest-to-goodness nerd artwork on Etsy. It brings a tear to my eye. If you like what you see, the artist has a whole shop packed with nerd goodness and formidable talent. So pretty. So cool.

Zelda fan or otherwise, I am drawn to these glowingly wonderful translucent soaps. "Rupees", I've been told, but as far as I'm concerned- pretty gemstone soaps, featuring the wonderful tagline "It's dangerous to shower alone!". They're also a set of four for 5.00US, which is pretty damn sweet.

In a similarly girlish vein, these handpainted black flats are fantastic. I would happily wear them, though if someone picks up the awesomeness on my feet, I might have to spend some serious time evaluating the rest of me. It's a rather expensive buy (shoes are not included - you have to send her a pair) but very cool all the same.

Well, this is nice! The hit rate here is actually quite good! There's been some really cool stuff! Let's proceed with an appropriate level of optimism!

Oh, Deviantart. What an insane repository of fetishes and discomfort. I had to dig a little deeper to understand WTF is going on here: apparently Zelda at some point was a brunette, and thus is appearing with her blonde other-version. Which begs the question: incest or masturbation? I'm sure the artists has considered this philosophical debate.

What. WHAT. Does the whole garter-retrieving thing even happen anymore? I saw it once on TV as a kid and I was marginally disturbed. The concept still wigs me out. "Hey, buddy, seeing as you're my Best Man, take one for the team and grope my bride inappropriately under her skirt whilst I drink beer and giggle." Anyhow, it's not so much the existence of the garter thing that offends me, but the fact it's such a hatchet job. That's a dollar-store garter with a badge sewn on it. I would have some grudging admiration for something with a bit more effort, but - eh.

Oookay. The kicker for me here is the sellers note that the bra can "very well be used as an everyday bra!". What else could you use it for? Mystifying and lazy cosplay? Nerd earmuffs? A slingshot? Perhaps the seller hopes that the buyer will lounge about the house sexily in a sexy push up bra and think sexy thoughts about Link. Sexily. Assumedly also wearing splattered tri-force hotpants.

So this is a good palate cleanser. Some more wonderful art, bless the artists cotton socks.

Fer shame. Not only is the image a clear copyright infringement on this one, but to be a.) charging for it and b.) it only being a template? It's a stolen image with a heart border on white card. Good grief. And can I draw attention to the fact it's been hacked out with scissors? Someone give the poor suffering flower a guillotine.

And THAT was Zelda. With some notable exceptions, the overall quality was high! Color me impressed. And buy me some of those damn soaps.

Tune in next time for the Etsy round up - where things will get a little Orcish and hopefully a bit Varian-fan-art-ish.

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