Sunday, September 8, 2013

Review: LEGO Minifigures Series 11 (Part One!)

It's that time again! Series 11 of LEGO's insanely popular series of blind-packaged collectible minifigures has hit the shelves. Eager opportunists across the world are furtively squeezing at bags, their highly-attuned digits attempting to discern between an evil mech's helmet and grandmother's basket. Gone are those halcyon days of tell-all barcodes and bump-codes. This is the wilds where we are at the mercy of our senses. And this time around there are a lot of new figures that are worthy of the hunt!...


Apparently some plucky, time-rich individual spent three hours squeezing packets and cleared out a lot of these before me. But I did manage to pick up SEVEN unique figures and I think that's enough to get us started. Find out which ones I got, and what I think of them... after the jump!


But first let's build some healthy anticipation. Here's the full list of figures on offer in this wave. There are some doozies. Whatever that means...



A female scientist?? What next?! A dog in pants?! Just kidding. My favourites here are the Yeti, the Gingerbread Man, the Island Warrior (tiki), the Scarecrow, the Female Robot and the Barbarian. Now sadly I knew that I didn't have either the Tiki guy OR the Scarecrow because I couldn't feel the spear or pitchfork. Guess that aforementioned plucky individual had cleared all those out beforehand. And sold them on the street for crack. But I still did OK. And if I can find more I might even do a follow up.

So first up is this little fellow that LEGO dubs "Holiday Elf". No forget that! He's CHRISTMAS Elf! How do I know that? Because Christ created elves! Just ask Legolas...


Now this grinning, gaptoothed toy-smith is pretty good value. I haven't seen that particular hat/ear piece before and he comes with both bear and wrapped gift. The gift isn't an actual box though, that's just a cube with a tile on top. So some kid is going to have a very disappointing Christmas.


We've had the bear before in a previous series but I don't think he had the bow-tie. I'd look it up but I have a feeling that neither of us are that invested in the answer. I think the elf, the yeti, and the gingerbread man all tie together into a loose Christmas theme, so I wouldn't be surprised if they continue to mine that in the future. Maybe with a Mrs Claus. Or a Baby Jesus. Or a frigging Krampus.

And if that Elf is a little on the soft side for you then don't fret. Next up is a scarred, testosterone soaked Barbarian meatheap...


Damned if that's not the manliest Lego minifigure ever created. He looks like he's been mauled by fantasy jungle cats and perhaps mauled a few fantasy jungle kittens (if you know what I mean). (What DO I mean??). Twin swords mean double the action...


This is the first LEGO minifigure to smell like sweat.


Love my LEGO Conan. And I certainly hope they keep exploring this particular theme. I think he needs a Red Sonya-esque female companion in a chainmail bikini. Make it happen, LEGO!

Then things get a little weird. We've had variations of this armour before, but this guy, dubbed the Evil Mech, is particularly strange...


What separates him from the others? Take off his helmet and drink in this cold, unfeeling nightmare...


ARRRGH! What the hell is that!? What is this guy anyway? Some sort of amorphous green liquid blob man who targets flesh with his cruel, remorseless reticule eye? Instead of a heart he has steely cogs! WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM US!? Pretty cool, right.

So let's contrast that with the worst figure of the entire wave...


Mountain Climber?! What is this? Cliffhanger? Why do they always have to throw a sportsperson into this mix? How boring is this guy? Do you know any mountain climbers? I don't know any mountain climbers? Do any of us have a mountain climber shaped gap in our lives? Who needs this?


He's nicely done? I guess? Moving on...

A Welder. Now, you could argue that a welder isn't that exciting either, but look at how badass this skilled master-of-molten-metal is!


That is an awesome mask, and the welding tool itself is more detailed than I would have expected. Nice one, LEGO! Now I want to weld things!


And there's more! Take off his helmet and you'll see a greasy, sweaty glum looking guy who is seriously reconsidering his career choice...


Brilliant, right! Buy one for that special welder in your life so that they don't weld your doors shut and make you late for work.

Question: What's even better than a robot?
Answer:  A sexy robot...


They've produced a boxy retro robot before but not a pink one that was wearing make-up! This is one hot robot broad. I'm assuming she's some sort of pleasure machine - why else would she have a row of hearts above her robot crotch? No batteries either - check out this high-tech renewable energy source...


Even if you're impotent robo-girl will make your clockwork.

AND FINALLY...

I got my absolute favourite figure of the series...


YETI! YETI! Come on! Chant it with me! Who needs commentary when we can chant loudly!?


Coolest figure, coolest design, coolest accessory. Even his back is cool...


That head is a single uniquely sculpted piece. There isn't even a regular cylindrical minifigure head lurking under there - there's no room for one - it connects directly onto the neck. The Yeti is clearly the best. Let him into your life. Let him into your fridge. He likes cold places.

So there you go! That's (nearly) half of them! They seem to alternate between dull waves and inventive waves, and I think this one is definitely the latter. I will certainly endeavour to hunt more of them down. Which one is your favourite? Oh really? What makes you an expert?


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