Monday, March 19, 2012

Trailer: You Sank My Battleshit!

Ok, so I had kind of heard that Hasbro was producing a movie based on their boardgame Battleship, but I was 100% convinced that I had either: a) Dreamt it, or b) Someone was taking the piss. And yet rumours of this Battleship movie continued to persist, and then I hear mere moments ago that the premise of the movie is actually battleships vs. aliens. For realz. I keep pinching myself and screaming, "WAAAAKEEE UPPPP!!! WAKKEEEE UPPP!!!" but no, this trailer is proof. Feast your eyes on modern cinema:

Liam Neeson is in this Battleship movie!? Okay, seriously now everyone, let's make a pact. Liam, if you get offered a Battleship movie again just start a Kickstarter campaign, OK? Say, "Hey everyone, I've been offered X amount of dollars to make a Battleship movie. If you can match it by the end of the month I won't do it." And everyone else promise to have Liam's back. Let's break some Kickstarter records. We're here for you, bro!

Now the good news is that I will probably pay to see this because I just discovered that in a month we're also getting a Battleship tie-in novelisation. So if you're a Book Was Better podcast fan, keep an eye on the ocean. Actual description:
YOU SANK THE WRONG BATTLESHIP During a routine naval drill at Pearl Harbor, American forces detect a ship of unknown origins that's crashed in the Pacific Ocean. Lieutenant Alex Hopper, an officer aboard the USS John Paul Jones, is ordered to investigate the ominous-looking vessel--which turns out to be part of an armada of ships that are stronger and faster than any on Earth. And that's when the Navy's radar goes down. Ambushed by a ravenous enemy they cannot see, a small U.S. fleet makes their last stand on the open ocean, armed with little more than their instincts, to defend their lives--and the world as we know it. 
And to think you idiots were excited about The Avengers! 


  1. You probably "kind of heard" when I posted the first trailer over 6 months ago.

    Way to be on top of the hottest movie of 2012.

    1. Sorry, J. I didn't watch it because I didn't believe you.

    2. I still have no clue how this relates to the board game. In fact, with the crazy super aliens.. it makes the board game look really shitty.

    3. maybe this is the crossover event that ties classic battleship and Battleship: Galaxies. Either way, this is an excellent usage of monies