Saturday, January 5, 2013

El Professore Movie Reviews: Hollywood Cop

1987
Director: Amir Shervan
Starring: David Gosse, Julie Schoenhofer, Lincoln Kilpatrick, James Mitchum, Troy Donahue, Cameron Mitchell, Aldo Ray
* * * *

Whooo boy.

Going in, I thought I knew what to expect. I had seen director Amir Shervan's epic mess-terpiece, 'Samurai Cop' (one of the most hilarious 'bad' action films ever made) and figured he had peaked (so to speak) with that outing. So to discover that his warmup act, 'Hollywood Cop' was even more ludicrously entertaining (yet surprisingly slightly less cinematically inept) was a major discovery for me.

Full review after the jump.

The plot: Rebecca (Schodenhofer), a rural single parent is understandably distressed when her young son is kidnapped by gangsters. They're annoyed that Rebecca's ex husband made off with six million of their hard earned money and using the kidnapped kid as bait in order to get the loot back seems the best course of action. Not knowing what to do, Rebecca comes upon John 'Turky' Turquoise (Gosse), a 'good cop' (as she was informed by a local vendor who apparently had never read a line of dialogue before in her life). Learning of her troubles, Turky along with his sidekick, Jaguar (Kilpatrick), decide to trash the gangsters and get her kid back, much to the annoyance of Turky's superior (Mitchell).

I have not seen any of Iranian born producer/director/writer Shervan's earlier homegrown output. He reportedly had a very productive film career in Iran dating back to 1949 and was a highly regarded craftesman. Exactly what brought him here to the States in the 80s and led to him creating schlock of this magnitude is unknown (something to do with the Iranian Revolution), but I for one am extremely grateful that it happened. He makes it quite obvious that this is his first U.S. film. Indeed, if it's possible to direct an entire movie phonetically, then I think it was fully realized here. The goofy pleasures of 'Hollywood Cop' are so many that it's difficult to even think of them all, no less list them. We have star Gosse and his perfectly kept feathured blonde locks and patented '80s style heroics, Schoenhofer breaking into tears at the drop of a hat (even when the scene doesn't call for it). veteran character actor Kilpatrick who gets to mud wrestle seemingly due to a clause in his contract, the young boy who 'touchingly' gets a vicious guard dog to help him escape. Then there are the villians. Memorable baddies are a prerequisite to any successful action film and this one is overflowing in that department. From Mitchum as the over the top, oversexed crime lord to his maniacl, leering lackeys, they are an eye popping group to behold. The standout has to be the unnamed actor playing the constantly cackling 'Animal', easily one of the most wonderously over the top perfs in the history of action films.

Filled with ridiculously stilted, yet oddly adrenalizing action that matches the goofy over the top dialogue and thesping, stumbling step by stumbling step, 'Hollywood Cop' is an absolute revelation for bad '80s action film fans. Thank you, Mr. Shervan.


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