Comic School Review: Iron Man's First Encounter with The Mandarin! (1964)

Surely one of the greatest things witnessed by those lucky ducks that attended this year's San Diego Comic Con was the first glimpse of Oscar Devourer Sir Ben Kingsley in his role as nefarious villain The Mandarin in the much anticipated Iron Man 3: Go Tony Go! Since reading the truly salacious descriptions of Sir Benjamin with a well groomed mo', I have had undeniable MANDARIN FEVER and have wanted to know everything possible about the bad guy that Marvel claims is "the most feared Oriental of all time!" Don't believe me? Check this out...

This is the introductory page of Tales of Suspense #50 in which Iron Man trades blows with Red China's sour-faced secret menace for the first time! Naturally it was written by Stan the Man Lee in the manner only he knows how, and drawn by the delightful Don "What The" Heck. I bought it from Comixology for a mere $1.99 and you will too if you know what's good for you!

Read along with me as I review this culturally insensitive classic from 1963... after the jump!

Comic School Review: Amazing Spider-Man #6 (1963): The First Time Spider-Man Pissed Off a Lizard!

In theatres across the globe, Monday-hatin’ Garfield Spider-Man is on the big screen, dealing with the consequences of pissing off a lizard. Now that’s all gravy, but what about back that time back in the sixties when the comic book Spider-Man first pissed off a lizard? How did all that go down? Why don’t we find out just how closely the movie matches the comic? Which lizard was more pissed?

Amazing Spider-Man #6 was written by the frighteningly prolific Stan the Man Lee with art by the totally badass Steve Ditko. I bought it from Comixology for $1.99 and you can too if you want to read along with me. You can even sit on my lap if you want to. Just saying.

Find out what it takes to piss off a lizard... after the jump!

Comic School Review: The Incredible Hulk #4 (1963) Damn Commies!

It's been a couple of weeks since you and I have tried to make sense of an old school classic Marvel comic, so I thought that maybe we could snuggle up inside The Incredible Hulk #4 from 1963, a classic Hulk issue split into two "feature-length" (lies) Hulk thrillers!

Of course, we don't want to exert ourselves, so we'll just focus on the second story, Mongu!! Gladiator From Space!, because I am dying to find out why Teen Brigade leader Rick Jones is squirming in Mongu's ape-like arms like a little bitch! Will Hulk save the day before young Rick is violated? And what do those damn Commie pigdogs have to do with all this?

It's written by Stan the Man Lee with art by Jack the King Kirby and I bought it for $1.99 on Comixology. You can too if you'd like to read along with me! Let's do just that... after the jump!

Comic School Review: X-Men #3 (1964) Beware of the Blob!

Didn't you and I have a super blast when we read X-men #1? So much so that I felt it was high time that we checked back in on Wheelchair Charlie and his band of Merry Mutants. I chose X-Men #3, written by Stan the Man Lee with art by Jack the King Kirby! And imagine my astonishment upon seeing the cover and realising that in this one the X-Men turn against their fans!...

That's a picture of the X-Men attacking frequent forum contributor BobXfan39 or, as they have cruelly dubbed him, "The Blob!". Bob is mostly home-bound and on this particular day didn't have any T-shirts that weren't covered in food stains. Lay off him you X-thugs, he's entitled to his opinion!

I bought this one right here on Comixology and if you want to read along with me you should certainly do the same! Now, let's find out exactly who the real bad guys are... after the jump!

Comic School Review: Avengers #10 (1964): Avengers Break Up!

We looked at their origin in The Avengers #1, we saw Cap join the team in The Avengers #4, so it's high time we checked in on those crazy nuts again, this time in The Avengers #10 where you'll be mortified to learn that The Avengers break up! Say it ain't so!

Looks like the Cap is in the crap with the rest of the gang! And this issue marks the first appearance of the evil Immortus, who is heralded as "truly different"! Well, yeah, I guess a pompous community theatre guy in his early fifties who wears a purple cloak and a flamboyant pink hat is a different kind of villainy indeed! As a side note, this is also the first issue to feature the phrase: "Avengers assemble!" but we've got bigger, more pompous and flamboyant fish to fry!

Naturally this wackiness was written by Stan "the Man" Lee and drawn by "the adorable" Don "what the" Heck. I picked it up from Comixology for $1.99 and you can too if you want to read along!

To witness the craziest break up ever... join me after the jump!

Comic School Review: Green Lantern #7: A Tribute to Pieface!

So with the entire Internet still buzzing about how Alan Scott (the original Green Lantern) is gay now, I thought I'd better dig deeper into the far-more-suspicious Hal Jordan archives and purchased issue #7 from the sixties. Sure enough Hal was up to his usual deep-in-the-closet tricks but what shocked me the most was the back-up story, Wings of Destiny, featuring his then best pal.

Yes, I am talking about the unflatteringly named Pieface, the "Eskimo grease monkey" who is coloured so yellow that Hal's ring could never possibly cause him harm. I seriously could not make this stuff up. Why wasn't Pieface in the movie?

Here's Hal having no doubt one of many Pieface induced nightmares:

Goddamn quit it, Pieface and let the man sleep!

Written by John Broome with art by either Joe Giella or Gil Kane, this is a startling tale of cultural insensitivity. Join me after the jump to see the myth, the legend, the pieface himself!

Comic School Review: Green Lantern #1 (1960). Now Who's Gay?

So a couple of days ago Bleeding Cool reported that DC Comics, in their infinite re-imagining, were planning to make Alan Scott, the original 1940's Green Lantern, gay. This ruffled the feathers of more than a few fans, not because comic enthusiasts are typically homophobic, but because it was: a) Seen as a hollow marketing gimmick, b) Ignored the established continuity, and c) Made Alan's wife of 70 years feel kind of silly. I needed to do some investigating for myself.

But the problem was that I couldn't get hold off any Alan Scott Green Lantern comics! So instead I had to read Green Lantern #1 from 1960, starring Hal Jordan, recently portrayed by Ryan "Let's get these pants off and fly some planes" Reynolds. And I made a shocking discovery! DC Comics got it wrong! Alan Scott was straight, but Hal Jordan is the gay one! And not because of the cover image either, I'm being serious here.

"My eyes are up here, Hal"

I'm not being sensationalist, obvious, or puerile either. I will have a factual, accurate, Freudian analysis of this cultural milestone... After the jump!

Comic School Review: X-Men #1 (1963!) : X-Perverts!

For today's Comic School Review why don't we skip those over-saturated Avengers and dip our toe into the (gene) pool of the strangest super-heroes of all! Yes, I am talking about the mutant-powered X-Men #1 from 1963 written by the omnipresent Stan the Man(iac) Lee and the ridiculously prolific Jack the King Kirby!

As always, I grabbed this from Comixology for $1.99. Do the same and you can read along with me!

So, if you want to find out how it all began, meet the original team, and laugh at them being perverts, then do yourself a favour and join me after the jump!

Comic School Review: The Origin of Thor (1952)

As I continue to blatantly ride the coattails of the phenomenally successful The Avengers, it is only fair that I now turn my large, ponderous head the not-so-secret origins of the mighty Thor! If you've seen the films than may I prepare you in advance to forget everything you think you know! While you're at it you may also want to forget everything you know about science, geography, and common sense.

But that's not what made blonde rock god Thor (allegedly) "the most exciting super hero of all time!"...

It all goes down in Journey to Mystery #83 first published in the heady year of 1952. The text was spewed forth by Stan the Man Lee and Larry the Llama Lieber (I'm guessing) and the art was hand-etched by the god-like paw of Jack the King Kirby. You can do what I did and purchase it here on Comixology for $1.99 but buyer beware - this one is only 14 pages, including the cover. Comix Knaves! Thou hast rippeth me off!

Join me after the jump and we'll bond...

Comic School Review: The Incredible Hulk #1 (1962)

Let's continue our wild foray into the seminal comics of Marvel's youth by taking a long overdue look at  The Incredible Hulk #1 from 1962, the issue in which Stan Lee and Jack Kirby gave laborious, mucousy birth to their legendary monster! Thrill as one of their crowning achievements starts crowning and then pops his mighty misshapen head forever into our world!

Just look at this beautiful cover and remind yourself why Jack was king, and Stan was a jester...

I picked this one up from Comixology for a puny $1.99, and you should too if you'd like to read along!

To find out what I learned about the Hulk's incredible origin... join me after the jump!

Comic School Review: Captain America #1 (1941!)

It's a slow news day, so why don't we slide all the way back to the heady year of 1941 when a war-torn world was given new hope by the patriotic fists of self-appointed policeman/pugilist Captain America! USA! USA!

Written by Joe Simon and drawn by the always fantastic (except for the forties) Jack Kirby, Captain America #1 was a sixty plus page monster packed with FOUR Cap stories, a tale of Thor's son Hurricane, and Tuk the idiot Cave Boy. I'm only going to cover two of the Cap stories, but if you want to read the rest then you need to go no further than Comixology, where they can be had for a mere $1.99.

We'll discover that Cap's origin is actually surprisingly close to the one shown in the recent film, and that the Red Skull's ridiculous real origin couldn't be further away! All this and more (or less) after the jump!

Comic School Review: Avengers #4 (1964). Captain America Joins the Avengers. Hilarity Ensues.

If you enjoyed my recent review of Stan the Man Lee and Jack the King Kirby's insanely entertaining ant-filled Avengers #1 from 1963 then you would be an absolute moron to miss Avengers #4 from 1964, which is the first issue to add Captain America to the team! If you want to read along with me then you can purchase this one, like I did, for a mere $1.99 from Comixology right HERE.

Aren't you dying to know if this version of the story matches up with the modern films? Have you ever wondered how Cap officially joined up with the team? Are you amazed by the way in which we continue to shamelessly milk the Avengers franchise? How do you milk a Hulk? Probably very carefully.

In this issue the Avengers will face all sorts of challenges that can't be solved by a convenient trapdoor. To find out how they cope... join me after the jump!

Comic School Review: The Avengers #1 (1963) is Batshit Insane!

We all have issues. And thanks to Comixology, I now have The Avengers #1 from 1963. It's drawn by Jack Kirby and written by Stan Lee and let me tell you, it is crazier than a bag full of cats and rattlesnakes! Welcome to Comic School!

If you loved the film, then you owe it to yourself to go back to the original source and find out just how closely it all matches up. Loki is indeed the villain here, so it's pretty close - providing you ignore the fact that it excludes Captain America (who won't show up for another few issues), includes Hulk in clown make-up, and a cast of one hundred thousand plot-hole solving ants.

Next time some asshole scoffs and says, "You know, the comics were better!" you punch him in the greasy maw and bellow, "Oh yeah, fella? I heard all about Avengers #1 and I don't appreciate your tone!"

To hear all about Avengers #1... join me after the jump!