Saturday, December 10, 2011

Me, Robot

Sorry I'm a little late with this week's installment. Been a bit late with a lot of things...of late. Must be the season. Or it is just this nasty FUNK I am in. Yeah, another one of those. Hate that shit.

It isn't that things are too terribly bad either. It is just time for Funkytown.

And not the good kind.

So I found this thing the other day, and figured I'd shoot it for another episode of A Closet Full of Crap. Like I love to remind you all, I chose that title because I have a Basement Full of Shit, but A Closet Full of Crap sounds much better.

Although, that Basement Full of Shit is fast becoming a Basement Full of Mildew and Decaying Sections of Rotten Wood as This House Built by Apes Falls Down Around My Ears...but hey, that's a story for another time.

If I survive that long.

I'm sure Mr. Roboto here will weather that storm. He's plastic.

OK, yer sayin'...big fuggin' deal. Wind-up Robot. Vintagey-lookin'. Big whoop.

Been there, done that. Yeah, that's what I thought at first.

Not sure where I got it. Don't even know who makes it. My glasses are 4 years old and scratched to Hell, so even the worst girls at the bar look awesome, and that means I can't read the copyright text on the packaging, and so I have NO idea when this was made or by whom to tell you any more about it. But it is NOT just a wind-up toy robot.

IT FUCKING SHARPENS PENCILS!!! It is like a gift from the GODS! It is like magic is REAL!!!

And it isn't just that it looks awesome, or that it is a FANTASTIC idea...I just sit here shaking my head wishing I'd thought of it first.

Though actually, I did think of something like it a while ago.

I wanted to, back in the days of having wild and fantastic visions of doing all kinds of fun and wacky shit, do products that had function as well as coolness. This would have been right in that wheelhouse.

One of the product lines I sketched out was called something like 'GLOBOTS' or some weird shit like that. It was a line of lamps. Yup, just lamps, but they would all be ROBOT lamps. Not horribly original, but not pure feces either.

They kept the room all lit up and shit, and they kept the world safe from Evil. And that...well, how do you BEAT that? There were all kinds of things like that I wanted to do. Ah...if only I'd had the dough...

With this little guy, he keeps pencils sharp. Maybe not as big a job, but somebody has got to do it. And at least he is not nearly as annoying as Clap Trap.