Friday, August 5, 2011

Everything Explained Through Flowcharts

Doogie Horner is a Philadelphia comedian and author. He performed at a comedy show that I co-produced a few years ago and totally killed. It was one of the best performances we had there, but he still insisted that it was one of his worst.

A little while after that show I saw him, of all places, on America's Got Talent. The audience hated him. Piers Morgan hated him. He made it through a few rounds and each time it was the funniest few minutes on prime time TV. Here's proof. (
“My friend asked me, ‘If you could be any animal, what animal would you choose to be,’ and I said, ‘An eagle.’ He said, ‘So you could fly?’ I said, ‘No, so I could finally have sex with eagles.’”
After his show at our place and on TV, I saw that he did the cover art for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and did some articles in McSweeney's. And he also makes flowcharts. I remember seeing a few on his website, but then they disappeared as a book was announced. I've been searching for the book but I couldn't find it anywhere. The other night at Barnes & Noble, the computer showed that one copy was available, but I couldn't find it. So I asked the clerk if they had "Everything Explained Through Flowcharts" by Doogie Horner. She laughed at me and said it sounded boring. My best comeback was going to be "you're boring", but I remained silent. I'm no Doogie.

I left and searched around, eventually finding the book and quickly buying it before the clerk tried to talk me out of it. Now that I own a copy, I can safely say that it's really awesome. Doogie's flowcharts are super detailed and hilariously perfect. I'm posting an example below as more proof. The book is made up of tons of these.

For more Doogie Horner visit: or follow him on twitter @DoogieHorner

14 page interior sample of the book: Everything Explained Through Flowcharts: All of Life's Mysteries Unraveled, Including Tips for World Domination, Which Religion Offers the Best ... the Secret Recipe for Gettin' Laid Lemonade

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