Friday, November 25, 2011

Friday Night Movie Review: Ryan Reynolds Space Cop (2011)

Ryan Reynolds Space Cop - or RRSC - is a 2011 documentary about the tough times former pizza place owner Ryan Van Wilder Reynolds was having after he broke up with Scarlett Ass-Mirror Johansson, and how it led him to briefly become a policeman. In space.

Join me after the jump and I'll share more hard facts about this fascinating tell-all film:

Scarlett, sadly, does not appear in RRSC, but it was still really interesting to see the unique ways that Ryan dealt with the fallout. He quit acting completely (you won't see him act at all in this movie) and tried his hand at being a jet pilot, but it turns out he was actually pretty terrible at it, and it was an especially thoughtless career change considering that that's how his father died. So he's down on his luck, and living with his nerd bro, and banging indiscriminate women and making everyone totally frustrated with him... but then something completely marvelous and unexpected happens...

A purple mork from space crashes on earth near Ryan's house and gives him a magic ring that turns him into a space cop. This crazy alien must have seen Blade Trinity or something and thought that it was real, so he makes Ryan swear to go to space and be a cop and arrest a criminal yellow cloud which is messing up everything.

Now, Ryan Reynolds likes a laugh, so he's all, "Sure, I'll be a space cop, you crazy purple mork bastard!" and he swears at a lantern and flies into space to the Council of Space Midgets (CSM). Except he's worried that he's far too recognisable as Ryan Reynolds so he wears a domino mask and a green leotard to throw off the space paparazzi. And guess what? They're totally fooled!

With his magic ring he can make anything he can think of appear - as long as its green - and Ryan spends a lot of time thinking about Hot Wheels. He's like, "Hot Wheels are pretty awesome, and so are guns and swords!" So he makes some of those, and has a great laugh, but then he gets sad again (because he misses Scarlett's ass?) and he doesn't want to be a space cop, but then he does want to be a space cop, and then he doesn't, does, doesn't, does, doesn't, does, doesn't... does. And then he arrests that cloud.

The documentary leaves you thinking that we might not ever see Ryan Reynolds act again. Recommended.

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