Friday, December 13, 2013

Jurassic Park Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 14: Branching Out.

It's day 14 of our sordid romp into the fetid, untamed wilds of the Jurassic Park Playmobil advent calendar and things have ground to a stand still. When our protagonist, Dr. Ian Goldblum, asked Serpent Satan for a willing female companion to succumb to his every twisted whim, Satan tricked him by summoning an ironic female raptor - one of Goldblum's sworn enemies. Since then, the two of them have been holed up in a leafy grove, staring each other down, contemplating their next move. What will happen?

Let's peer through Door Number 14 and find out...

And... it's... a...

Old branch and a couple of leaves. Sigh...

You know, when this thing started it was all motorbikes, skeletons and dinosaurs! Now it's plastic grass and twigs and leaves. Is this thing fizzling out just when we were getting amped?

I guess that so much time has passed since Goldblum entered the sacred grove with his would-be raptor girlfriend that the old stump he was leaning against is now beginning to blossom and grow. Yes, months have passed as Goldblum locks cold eyes with the aroused raptor, a billion courses of action running through his maze of a mind. Should he tear out the raptor's faithful heart and devour it? Or is it time to finally drop this life-long grudge and give his raptor mistress a passionate toothy kiss? As he ponders this day turns into night, night turns into day, and the seasons change around him. It's riveting right?

Perhaps we'll do a little better in the Lego Star Wars advent calendar which I'm about to open in a second!