Friday, December 6, 2013

Jurassic Park Playmobil Advent Calendar Day 6: Walk the Talk.

It's day 6 of our steamy sojourn into the wilds of the Jurassic Park Playmobil advent calendar where death is fast and full of teeth! We live in constant hope now that any day an actual dinosaur will tear free from its cardboard prison to menace our hero, Dr. Ian Goldblum, but alas, today's door is just a tiny one. Maybe it's an anklyosaurus, curled tight in a defensive ball but eager to unfurl and unleash armoured havoc! Or it could be something crap.

Let's bust open Door Number 6 and find out...

And... it's... a...

Disappointingly uninspiring gift consisting of a torch (or flashlight for our American friends), and a pair of walkie-talkies. Now, if you know even the smallest thing about Jurassic Park, then you'll know that a flashlight is the prime instrument for attracting and pissing off a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That crap completely enrages them into homicidal blood-lust to the point that they'll bite your head off even while you're taking a shit. It may not be an exciting gift, but it's perfect for the antagonistic Ian Goldblum who would love nothing more than the ability to lure a T-Rex just to punch the living daylights out of it and tear its heart straight out of its chest.

The walkie-talkies, on the other hand, pose an interesting question. Two interesting questions, actually, the first being: "What kind of a stupid name is 'walkie-talkie'?" That's like calling a car a "sitty-drivey". The second question is: "Who on earth is Ian Goldblum supposed to communicate with?". Much like the forbidden tango, walkie-talkies take two, so is companionship just around the corner? The plot thickens.

Notice how both the flashlight and a walkie-talkie clip effortlessly to the front of Goldblum's blood-red hell-cycle, The Heartvester. He is so pumped for action that I pray tomorrow gives him some.

And stay tuned because I am popping open the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar very soon...

No comments:

Post a Comment