Monday, September 12, 2011

Metal Mondays - When Metal and Literature collide

Happily today's Metal Monday is crossing over into another of my great loves - books. But hang on, you might say, metal is an audio-experience. What place does a book have in all this?

A LOT, let me tell you. Metal and literature have always sat hand in hand. Ever since some spectacled Tolkien enthusiast picked up a guitar and Liquid Nailsed some screws onto leather cuffs, Metal musicians have been outed as a rather bookish lot. Which pleases my not-so-internal librarian hugely.

More after the break!

This rather epic and wonderful tome, All Known Metal Bands by Dan Nelson, is a very literal list of every metal band located by the author. Obviously it's not going to be endlessly valid - it was published in 2007 - but it operates as a Metal time capsule, an exhaustive archive of what the Christ was going through the heads of those kids when they all sat down with a bowl of Cheezels and some sheets of paper to figure out what they were going to call themselves. And I love that stuff.

This was published by McSweeney's - which should tell you exactly a.) how much I love it and b.) how impressive it is. I don't know where McSweeney's gets the money for these kinds of ridiculous exercises, but I'm glad they do.

It's printed on black paper with silver ink, bound into a heavy, dense hardback about five inches high and a bit less that a foot long. It's coloured and designed to within an inch of its life and the effect is completely awesome. It's a coffee table book. If the coffee table is an ornamental coffin or one of those fake naked kneeling girl coffee tables.

As an added bonus Luke's brother metal band is in here! (Excarnated , FYI) lets extract a few gems at random.

Giant Squid
Garden of Worm
Genitaliban - Oh I see what you did there.
Mighty Goat Obscenity - Not just an obscenity, but a Mighty Goat Obscenity. Wowsers.
Dungeon of Wizard - I would rock out so hard at a Dungeon of Wizard gig
Dangerous meeting in Nagasaki
Camembert - I salute you, Camembert.
Wehrhammer - I legitimately think this is awesome.
Vomit Orchestra - yep, a classy bunch.

This very cool book can be secured from McSweeney's themselves over here, or Book Depository over here (more expensive on BD, but free shipping). It has the makings of an epic gift. Believe me if I knew someone who loved metal as much as I do I would be totally gifting this around.


  1. @Mike: Oh, America. Here you go:

  2. Whoa! Do they actually fit on your finger? Those would be DESTROYED in my house.

  3. @J : they do!! They are insanely tasty and awesome and I spent most of my early childhood with these on all my fingers. Putting cheese powder all over everything.

  4. I will definitely need to import some. Or trade for something that you guys can't get.

  5. Cheezels are freakin' delicious. I smashed a whole box yesterday.

  6. @J: could totally do that. They're also insanely light because they're pretty much air i.e. great for sending overseas.

    Idea! (lukes idea): sent me the website of a grocery store near you, I'll send you one near us and you can put together a wishlist. yay?