Friday, October 14, 2011

Project Runway Recaps: S09 E12

OMG you guys the final challenge!!! Who is going to Fashion Week?!? Who is going to cry on the runway?!? It is possible for Josh's shirts to get any more unbuttoned?!? Find out below the cut!

The designers are taken to Governor's Island for inspiration. There are sculptures and nature and stuff. The challenge is to design three looks which show the designer's range, and they will have two days.

Josh's brother is in the military, and Josh is inspired by what he calls "artillerary." The camera lingers on a suspiciously Freudian shot of him inspecting a cannon.


The others are inspired by nature and sculpture and blah blah blah. Laura is very taken with circles and wants to make a dress with circles all over it. I can already tell this is a bad idea. She isn't sure how to make this happen, but at Mood she finds a fabric which is just big black circles joined together and the negative space cut out. It is pretty awful. Laura reminds the audience that she is very rich and privileged: "When it comes to spending money, I like the finer things in life. I'm going to buy buy buy." What a sympathetic character!

Of course, there's a Twist. Five eliminated designers are back to work as assistants! Josh gets Bryce, who doesn't think much of his designs. "It looks very you," Bryce says diplomatically, which he of course takes as a compliment. "I am capable of clean clean work," says Josh, who is becoming increasingly deluded. He has an idea to paint clear plastic and make it look like stained glass. Sadly Bryce talks him out of this, so we will never see this masterpiece. He is using plastic mesh, however. Classy!

Josh is also becoming increasingly bitchy and paranoid about Anya. "I just had twenty thousand dollars swept away from me by a beauty queen," he tells Bryce, who looks skeptical. "It's like, what was it, the beauty or the talent?" At this point I am just surprised that Josh admits that Anya is prettier than him.

Laura is so thrilled with her circle cut-out fabric that she puts it on everything: a dress, a vest and a capelet. The dress under the capelet is a sad tie-dyed brown, but the others are white. It looks completely nuts.

Tim advises her to scale back, and she reluctantly agrees (which means making one of the pieces without circles).

Kimberley is having trouble. Tim tells her that her sparkly gown looks like the Statue of Liberty and when her model tries on the pants her bottom hangs all the way out. As it, the centre back seam can't be closed. It's a good look for a Pride Parade but not so good for the runway.

As it turns out, it is Josh who presents the Statue of Liberty dress. He has made a 'gown' out of silver Lurex(!) which looks like a bathing suit cover-up from 1978.

When Heidi asks him if he was attracted to the fabric because it was "nice and shiny," Josh gets very snippy. "Is that an assumption?" he asks nonsensically. His other looks are no better: one of them consists of a dumpy vest over a red t-shirt and a silver rah-rah skirt.

Kimberley gets very snippy on the runway. "That's your opinion," she tells the judges. Yes, that's the point of judging, Kimberley. Laura cries because she is so passionate about fashion, but she should be crying about her terrible clothes. She has made a sad nightie-looking dress, an old lady jacket out of the circles and a nutty dress.

The model looks like she has been caught in plastic rings in the sea and is posing for an anti-littering campaign.

The judges love Anya's collection, of course. The camera cuts to Josh looking angry.

Viktor's collection is very commercial (boring), but the judges tell him he is the best of the designers at sewing. The camera cuts to Josh looking pissed off.

Then it is time for the designers to say why they should go to Fashion Week, and who should go with them. Every person chooses Anya as one of their choices. No-one chooses Kimberley. When Kimberley chooses Laura and Anya, the camera cuts to Josh looking narky.

Anya is chosen, of course. Viktor is chosen, equally predictably. Then Josh is chosen. Argh! Of course, he has some self-aggrandising nonsense ready for the occasion: "I'm starting to write my book, my history, which means that years after I'm gone, someone will be able to look back and research this moment for me." WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT

Kimberley is the fourth designer and Laura is out. I feel kind of sorry for her until she says that she is surprised and that she was sure she would be in the top three. Here's a tip, Laura, before you say something, say it in your head and see if it's going to make people hate you.

Well, Fashion Week is around the corner! There will be an Extra Big edition of the recap next week. Until then, go buy some silver Lurex and start draping!

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