Well, Project Runway episode 3 happened, and I watched it, and I drew stupid pictures. You can read this even if you don't watch Project Runway, because it's funny!
Heidi comes out on stilts. I think this is probably because she is a maniac and wants to tower over everyone else. She has managed to channel this into a challenge, by making the designers make clothes for stilt walkers. So crazy! Just like the one episode per season they make clothes for fat people!
They are put into pairs, which makes them upset. Don't they know that in the real world of fashion, they will have to work with other designers? And make clothes for stilt-walkers in 12 hours?
Anya still has the most beautiful accent, but Cecilia is giving her a run for her money, especially when she says her model has "a huge puump-keen on her head." It sounds so poetic!
Bryce's lip ring makes him look like he is dribbling. He is upset because Fallene doesn't know what fabric grain is. My husband knows what fabric grain is. Maybe Fallene should watch some YouTube videos about sewing before she starts a new project?
Viktor hates Bert and Bert hates Viktor. They fight for a while but then seem to be OK. Describing their (awful) dress, Viktor gives the most non-committal comment I have ever heard: "It's definitely what you and I put together!" Viktor dresses in a schoolboy outfit, but not in a chic way. Grug comments that he is the lame Mondo.
Laura, the "upper class" one, wins the challenge, despite the fact that she is wearing heels so high that all morning she has to do that stompy run where you try to land on your whole foot. Classy!
Josh McKinley and Julie make an amazingly hideous matador outfit. The pants go all the way up the model's stomach, which in combination with the stilts makes her look like one of the Gumbies from Monty Python.
Fallene is kicked off. She calmly explains to the camera that "right now I'm having a breakdown," but when that's finished she'll be back to designing. Good luck! But seriously, that is not a real name.